Abyss

Abyss

A Poem by GTVile
"

The rough draft for the opener to the new album. Kinda cheesy, but this is a song of a pretty epic scale, so the music is what is intended to convey the message.

"

The dark inside

That none can see

It dwells within

As part of me

 

A thick black tar

Within resides

The other one

Myself besides

 

The eye of lust

The bed of sin

You open up

And let it in

 

This...

Abyss...

 

 

It gives you wealth

And trains your mind

Your soul grows dim

As you go blind

 

Inside yourself

There you can find

The pit of pain

It will remind

 

Wrath, vengeance, hate

In dreadful bloom

The first full glimpse

Of our shared doom

 

This...

Abyss...

 

Is...

Us...

© 2011 GTVile


Author's Note

GTVile
Its a rough draft, so tear it apart if you feel the need.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This poem is done in a unique style but it flows smoothly. Kudos to you for that. I do believe you are right. Everyone does have an abyss in them for one reason or another. The feeling of being stuck with this part of you that you try to hide try to deny is clearly stated.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like this allot. It's like being taken deeper and deeper in the moment and then the shared doom.. the abyss.. perfect.. I love it!!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Actually i like it not sure about the ending "is us" kind of killed the mystery if you get my meaning. However it's a wicked poem mate. I would end it at this abyss.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

awe! I love this one! I love the rhyme, I love the words you chose, I love everything! Good job!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

a secret to lyric writing is to strip them down to the bare essentials , this you have done, these lyrics thunder into that black abyss

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

no need to tear it~ more a reaction to drop a tear or a shower of them on the reality of your poignant spinerette digging deep into the heart of the enemy~ and of course we as human beings ARE our worst enemy~ your composition itself is a glimpse behind the veil of every pretense and gloss meant to lighten to shadows of actuality~ deeply moving piece~

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I actually just got this song back from mixing and mastering at the studio in Tennessee, so lemme know if anyone wants to hear the final product.

Posted 13 Years Ago


You're very talented at writing poetry. Your words are very captivating, leaving me wanting more.

I will definitely be checking out more of your work!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very true; I like your writing style, and the flow of words is just right.
Good job.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1st of all I thing the formate works great, I like the fast pace of the read that seems to pick up speed as you go along, great job really nice. :) Cherrie

Posted 13 Years Ago


This poem is done in a unique style but it flows smoothly. Kudos to you for that. I do believe you are right. Everyone does have an abyss in them for one reason or another. The feeling of being stuck with this part of you that you try to hide try to deny is clearly stated.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

355 Views
10 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 11, 2011
Last Updated on January 11, 2011
Tags: Doom, black, metal, pain, abyss

Author

GTVile
GTVile

Marietta, GA



About
I am. I used to be on this site back in the old days, then there was the great disaster and some of my best works were lost. My name before was GodfredtheVile, so if you were my friend, I'd li.. more..

Writing
Little Red Little Red

A Poem by GTVile



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Revival Revival

A Poem by Emily B