Visitation Rites

 

I always attach such significance

to dreams of her.

They are hallowed visitations,

faces on cathedral floors,

voices in waning night

that cleave the dark,

and adrenaline,

like herbal tea,

in my mouth,

head, heart.

 

I abhor the waking and cling

selfishly, senselessly

to the other place,

where my mind performs the magic

my simple self

can’t accomplish,

as a dishwater dawn

recasts its curse.

Reviews

[jenbem]

I love the metaphor. Holy rites and dreams...very provocative. Dreams as hallowed visitations is wonderful.
you may want to rethink the line in the second strophe, "where my mind performs the magic," I think it may flow more smoothly as just, my other place, my simple self. Just a thought though!

this is so great though. I love it. the play on words is witty and a joy to read!

jenbem

[Shara Faskowitz]

Remove "such" from the first line. Significant is significant, nu? It already is the superlative. Other than that, it's five hearts on the kiss-o-meter. :)

dishwater dawn is perfect in this context.

[Chloe Madison Taylor.]

is this about .. your daughter?
this poem attracted me because of the title. my father finally got visitation rights after a two year restraining order. I wonder if he feels the same.