As I Grow

That's totally a tree

Infinitely tall,

incredibly wide.

Skin not like mine, rough

like rock. Ten years later

one hundred feet tall, ten

feet wide. Bark Unique to

it, patterns too complex

to understand.

One hundred 

years later.

ten feet tall,

two feet wide.

bark           formed

for                  perfect

protection.         Living,     breathing

    A                 world             of its

      own.                    I'll                 know  

soon                      if                  this

was      God's                                             

  true      plan.                                              

Reviews

[Eggplant]

Hello there! I love how your poem shows transformation, and you even tried to make your writing look like a tree! Good attempt! Now, that is something I have never seen before. But maybe you tried too hard to make it look like a tree, instead of developing this story. The only way that I think you could improve this is if you added more detail about the "in-between stages." What I mean is, how did the little tree go from that, to something humungous? What obstacles did it have in its way, like cities being built around it, people scraping off the bark? What kind of tree is this? I understand that this is a poem, but while you can still have this short, you can find ways to put in that much detail, and your poem can be that much better. my tip is to write your story first, then make it look like a tree. As this poem stands, I like what you have. I just feel like you spent too much time making it "look" like a tree than you did making it "feel" like a tree. 60/100, but just because it needed more detail, and more improvement. I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future, I I hope you could make a new version of this. Good luck with your bachelor's degree! I am really hoping that you will continue on this path with writing!

[Anthony]

Thank you! I really appreciate the advice and will certainly keep in mind all that you said!

[AllauraRose]

I loved the imagery! I like how you went through the stages of a tree, I do agree with Lily that you should write first and then make it look like a tree. I still enjoyed it and I hope you keep writing!