Palms Up

 

I am clearing the sticky gears

Within my mind

Of the stray words

Floating upon the breezes

 

 I find

That time will clog the cogs teeth

With stranded ideas

And thoughts, almost as though jealous

 

Sometimes a written concept

Still struggles for breath

As it oozes its life force

Upon the circular shiny metal; forgotten

 

I consider these; apologizing for my forgetfulness

As I coo to them and whittle,

Prying their little text bodies

From the biting tines

 

If they lack luster

After I have restored their health,

I give them love for sustenance

And whisper to them my reassurance

 

Then with palms up

A warm smile on my face

I cast them into flight

Upon the fingers of the wind once again

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

I think you tapped into the stream, Tigra.
I have no idea how to properly credit your
poem with all the superlatives it should have
to properly honor you and your talent, but
at least I know how to properly honor the
run-on sentence, I just haul off and let it flow.
ahhh, a deep breath !
First it seems to me that most of us are overly
concerned what others will think of our written
effort, so we stop to think it over before we write
it and of course having stopped to think it is not
easy to start again.
Getting back to your poem,"Palms Up". Did I ever
get to it ? No ? OK, now I have to tackle this
inscrutable substance, a deep and meaningful poem.
Wow ! This is really deep. You are clearing the sticky
gears in your mind of the stray words floating on the
breezes.
I think you are trying to put form to your thinking.
To take the stray words that clutter your mind and
arrange them so they are philosophically sound,
pleasant to the ear, attractive in appearance and
so that they will flow in continuity, without interrupton
and faltering.
That somewhat loosely covers the first stanza.

This poem much like all the creations of this writer is
exquisite in style, flowng smoothly, to an open gesture
at the end. She builds a structure that is beautiful,
harmonious and sound.

I love it and I think it is creative and sound.

Thank you !

----- Eagle Cruagh

[cartera]

And they fly to us. A very well written poem. Writer's block will never be the same.
Lovely images and an excellent starter metaphor.
Thank you.
ATB
Alex.

[Abigail T]

What a fresh, new, and intriguing metaphor! Your words kept me floating along throughout the piece, and it never dragged. I really enjoyed this, and look forward to reading more!

[Robin]

loving the last stanza of this thought caressing piece of poetry ~

[Bette]

beautiful!

[clemon73]

great job, beautifully written.

[Kyle]

Wowza...Beautiful writing and crystal clear imagery...Bravo

[Winter McPherson]

A very unique and beautifully penned look at giving birth to the written word! Excellent job!

[THERISA]

Interesting metaphor, using the brain, as a mechanical machine or construct, but it fits beautifully, within this poem. Picture in my mind, of a 19th century mechanical loom, with the various moving gears and parts, producing such beauty, for one's eye to behold. Thank you, for sharing your view on thoughts and ideas, in this poem.

[Pax Analog]

This fine meditation on writing process reminds me of the aforementioned scene with Tarzan thinking words were bugs.

I don't think you need "As a writer," or "I will find" in the following stanza. Less is more, when the sense is still clear. So that means "struggles" instead of "struggling."

Also, "If they lack in luster" seems tighter to me, in the next to last stanza.

Basically, you have three "find"s and one's enough, and that suggests the remaining adjustments.

All in the spirit of "clearing the sticky gears," yes? Methinks it's fine otherwise. ;-)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Sorting out our feeling in verse can be a challenge cause even we are not sure sometimes of what our feelings are telling us... this is a classy piece that really defines the heart of poets and artists everywhere.