Remedies for Memories

Crystalline powder and aching bones, remedied hopes and

Forlorn memories, glances over the dusted frames of the pictures,

Grasping at the haunting sound of gasping upstairs where canaries,

Caged and frozen, blood-cold, lay in trance-like death,

Hanging above on countless hooks, those with crushed domes and

Lonely howling hopes. Jittering bugs and curling worms, residents of the

Confectionery of the cranium, and away from the attic, outside against the

Backdrop of fog on the moor:

Plaintive and painted faces with disgrace and distaste for the glitter of the

Sun behind the gouache clouds that looms distant in the distance,

Echoing the reminder of the life that they now represent to all extents and reasons,

As time goes by through all the seasons and leaves us

With every vague yearn for the future with not even an understanding understatement

Of the past.

Reviews

[Noa]

Your attention to flow and hidden rhymes is wonderful to read, a big thumbs up for your choice of words. All I could say after reading it once was 'wow'. It's a good thing I found my voice after reading it again, otherwise this review would have been quite short and non-constructive :P

Personally, I think your style would stand out even more if you broke up your lines to make them shorter. It will make for an easier read, as well, since there will be more white around your words (and it can guide the reader into the flow you have created). As far as I can count, this poem is made up out of 2 sentences. I'm sure that it would do great with a few more periods (removing the capitals at the start of your lines would make the entire work a bit more continuous, but this is personal preference).

Truly wonderful! Thank you for sharing your work!
-Noa

[johnnyqueer]

Ahh, this is awesome. I like the dark sense it holds, as well as the interesting rhyme scheme. Nice work.

[Courtney]

That is really good you should keep writing =)