A Woman's Soul

A Story by TyRenee

In a world where woman tend to wear their heart on their sleeves, Sidney Bryant is just the opposite. Or at least that's what she's striving to be.

A Woman’s Soul

-1-

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

“Can we re-schedule?”… The click of my red-bottom Italian made, turned American obsessed platforms hit hard in a rhythmic pattern across the floors of Clark Branham & Associates. Juggling my purse in one hand, the quick sandwich I grabbed at my favorite deli in the other and my Blackberry between my right ear and shoulder, I manage to get inside of my office before dropping everything on my desk; adding to what was already a pile of mess. Exhausted, I step out of my shoes while trying to listen to my ex-husband make up a plausible reason as to why I had to be with him when he goes to sign the papers at the bank relinquishing the assets to each of us from our joint account.

“Wes, I have an afternoon up to my head. I’m sure we can push this back until the end of the week.” Making myself comfortable on the edge of my desk with my legs sprawled out across it, I reach for my sandwich hoping to get a few bites before anyone takes notice that I was back in the office and inadvertently, ruin my chances at a peaceful lunch.

“Why am I not surprised?” Wes huffs at me from the other end of the phone. I roll my eyes in sheer disgust as he continues his b!tch fit.

“You’re always too something. When we were married, you were too busy too cook, too tired to make love, too sick to go out.”

Feeling the direction of this conversation going south, I quickly intervene. “Look, we’re divorced now so save the complaints. Matter of fact, save a date so we can get this done and over with; that way we can cut all ties. Friday at …” I lean back to take a glance of the calendar and notice the only time I had free on Friday afternoon was already penciled in for Diane and there was no way I could cancel on Diane. “How about next Monday?”

“What happen to Friday?”

“Okay, Monday at 2:00. See ya then?”

“Well, doesn’t sound as if I really have a choice Sidney. Just like I didn’t have a choice in our marriage when it came to the decisions you made. About where we live, how much money we spend …”

I let out a sarcastic yawn at his ongoing bitterness while picking the tomatoes out of my sandwich. The same tomatoes I told them to leave out.

“Wes, I’d love to sit here and hear you criticize me like you’ve done for the past 3 years but that hefty divorce that you’re paying for has seized me of that pleasure.”

“So I’m still the blame. Why am I not surprised?” Wes smirks on the other end of the line.

“Why do you do this?” I retort with anger building in my voice.

“Do what?”

His attempt to appear perplexed by my question sends my eyebrows in the same direction. “I’m so over this. No, really. Your days of making me feel guilty and patronizing me are long gone. .”

The fact that Wes is laughing on the other end of the phone makes me even more furious and reminds me why filing for a divorce was something I would never regret, despite me vowing to always make it work. Some things are inevtiable.

“Look Sid, you’re not the only person who’s over it. I’m looking forward to being done with you for good. So, Monday it is. Just try to keep your word this time.”

“Yea, just like you kept yours. Have a good afternoon Wesley.”

I quickly hang up before he has a chance to refute just as Gavin comes tapping on my door sending me dashing off of my desk and sliding back into my shoes. “Gavin!”, I shout from sheer embarrassment of him finding me in a more than relaxed position and possibly overhearing my spit spat with my ex husband. “I was just about to come down to the conference room.”

“I don’t mean to rush you from your lunch. You look really comfortable up there.” Gavin laughs as he leans over and helps me into my other shoe.

I slide my foot in while wiping any residue from the sandwich that may be left upon my face. “Yeah, hmm ... maybe I should invest in a couch.” I propose as I straighten out my black Anne Klein sleeveless sheath dress trying to bring some composure back to my usual professional demeanor. I uneasily join him in the bout of laughter he was continuing to have. “Was it that funny?” I question; a bit confused by his humor.

“It’s not that. It’s just the way you jumped off the desk when I walked in. If only you could have seen yourself. Like a kid caught red handed.” Gavin continues to grin in amusement showcasing all thirty two of his beautiful pearly whites. “Maybe you should get that couch or hey, maybe you can borrow mines. I never use it.”

“No, that won’t be necessary”, I quickly assure him. “So, what’s up?”

I gesture for him to take a seat while I make my way to my chair on the opposite side of the desk trying to change the subject. “Sorry about the mess. I can never manage to keep a neat desk.”

“It happens to the best of us. Sign of hard work.“

“Well since you put it like that.” I chuckle.

“Is everything okay?” Gavin inquires with a concerned look on his face while making himself comfortable in the chair.

I return the same glare pretending to be confused by his question. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you sounded a bit upset on the phone. I wasn’t ease dropping or anything but I couldn’t help but hear you from down the hallway.”

S**t! The one time I don’t close my door this happens, I think.

“It’s a long story but nothing to be concerned over.” I try to reassure him.

“You sure?” he asks with a glint of concern in his voice.

With a bolstering smile, I lean over my desk and look him squarely in the eye. “I’m positive.”

Gavin was new to the team. 4 months new, that is. His arrival to Clark, Meyers & Associates has been a blessing for the company. Not only has he brought a fresh face to the executive round table but his reputation from his previous jobs that ultimately granted him the position of Vice President of Finance & Marketing proves to be true from the productivity, production and success the company has accrued this past quarter due to his recent arrival. We’ve gone from struggling to make goal to being in the top 10% of the country’s north region financial institutions. Things for the company felt as if they’ve changed over night. Our previous VP, Michael Brooks, was terminated due to his lack of commitment at getting the job done. However, Gavin has proven to be the exact opposite; a man that not only knows how to get the job done but does it with only a technique that he can. A technique he’s trying to teach us all to adhere to so that the company can become a steady infrastructure. To say I was impressed is a true understatement. I was more so enthralled by him because he reminds me so much of myself.

Growing up in Chicago, Illinois, I always knew I wanted to go off to college to explore a different part of the world but return to Chicago where I could build a career for myself and that’s exactly what I did. I obtained an undergraduate degree from UCLA in Finance and went on to Stanford’s Masters of Business program where I was taught all of the fundamentals that fully prepared me to take on corporate America. Returning home to the windy city from sunny California, it took longer to adjust myself to the climate change than to find a job. When you attend Ivy league schools, the job tends to find you and that’s how I came to be brought on at this company.

I started off at entry level, just like any other recent college grad would, but unlike the other millions who fall into that category, I have a heap of persistence that’s always made me stand out from the crowd. So it’s no surprise that 5 years later, I’m already the top senior account executive with my own office on the top floor of the building where the leadership resides and a prominent member on the board of executives for the company. At the age of 29, that’s pretty damn good especially considering when you look around the table at the board’s committee meetings, I’m the only female with a stroke of color on her face. That in itself has taught me self-discipline and reminds me that no matter how far I get to the top, I can never get too comfortable.

The deal with corporate America is that you have to play by the rule book all the time; no matter the circumstances. At least that’s how I see it. There is no room for mishaps. Michael Brooks could testify to that. In a split second, everything you’ve worked for can be ripped away from you and I know too all about that. My father worked 20 years at a steel plant on the west side of Chicago only to be told one unforeseen day that his job was being shipped overseas. Imagine the position that left a man in whose struggling to send his youngest off to college and pay for the pricey education from Stanford that we couldn’t afford but I managed to get. Between the scholarships, the student loans I’m still paying off and a whole lot of prayer, God definitely made a way. My father had enough in his 401K and was able to retire comfortably and the salary my mother still brings in from her 15 year position as a high school secretary helps to fit the bill. The greatest reward in reaching this peek of success is being able to pay off my parents’ home and fund my younger brother’s education at Penn State. The checks I write help cover whatever expenses his basketball scholarships don’t and leaves me with a content feeling that my family is stable and secure. Despite the ups and downs we’ve encountered and still do to this day, things are better than we expected.

In order to keep with that stability, it leaves me in the position to continue to strive for the best so I can take care of the most important things. Some would assume that I would be in Gavin’s position as VP of Finance & Marketing but his experience is what has rightfully gotten him here and my goal is to show and prove to him how capable and honored I am to be on his team. That means being on the top of my game so I’m always ahead of the next person, punctual and on time all the time and continuously making an effort to help the company grow in areas where it’s most needed. So Gavin walking in on me eating a sandwich on the top of my desk while arguing with my ex husband isn’t exactly the poster child for what a top senior executive should be doing to impress her boss. Thankfully, he found more humor in it than I did.

“You know, it’s crazy. We see one another in passing at a few meetings but I’ve been here almost five months and I still don’t know enough about you.” Gavin admits while leaning back in his chair.

“When you say enough, what exactly do you mean?” I question.

“Well, it’s pretty evident that you’re a bright woman. You always have something to say in the meetings and your job performance speaks for itself. I’m impressed.”

I try to contain the smile that was trying to break out on my face. “Well, thank you.”

“But Mrs. Grant, Sidney … I never know what to call you.” Gavin chuckles.

“Please call me Sidney. And if you insist on the other, then it’s Ms. Bryant. I’m recently divorced.”

“I apologize. It’s just when we first …” Gavin tries to explain with a sense of a sincere apology in his voice.

“No, no … don’t apologize. I was married when you first got here. My divorce was just finalized a few weeks ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

I move the pen back and forth on the desk feeling a bit nervous about the direction of this conversation. Again, office politics is something I always abide by. “No, don’t be sorry. It’s a good thing.” I laugh lightly trying to relay to Gavin that it wasn’t a touchy subject or at least trying to convince myself that it wasn’t.

“Well considering that I went through a divorce myself about two years ago then I can kind of relate. Don’t worry, it’ll get better.”

I’m staggered by the fact that he somehow knew it was bothering me despite the strong exterior I was putting on from the outside. This man is smarter than I think.

“And besides, I think it’s pretty commendable that you don’t let your personal life affect you here at work.”

“Gavin, what I’m about to tell you please don’t think it’s with an agenda. But we both know that Angela will be retiring in a few months and the position will be opening up soon for the Director of Finance. It’s pretty much the worst kept secret going on around the office. I know it’s going to be a competitive position to obtain. Angela has done a vast performance for years now and the person who proceeds her will have big shoes to fill. I just want you to know that my career has always been very important to me. I don’t get up and come to work in the morning because I’m looking forward to a paycheck at the end of the month. At this point, that’s just a great incentive. I look forward to coming to work because I love working on a team of committed people, seeing results come from hard work and I love the feeling of making the impossible, possible. That’s was my motto when I was making coffee and filing papers on the first floor and that’s my motto to this day while brining in new accounts and reviving old one’s. My job title my have change over the years but my objection is always the same; go beyond what’s expected of me.”

Gavin folds his leg across the other and gazes at me for a minute before saying anything. “I just got to know you a little better in a matter of minutes. Are you trying to take my position?”

I laugh at Gavin’s wittiness. “No, of course not.”

“I’m joking. But Sidney, seriously I admire your work ethic. I really do. You’re going to go far. Just promise me two things.”

“What’s that?”

“Promise me that you’ll apply to be considered for that Director of Finance position in a few months.”

Although I already had plans to apply for the position, it was great to know that the person who would have hands in making the final decision felt I was qualified. That smile that I was trying to hold back a few minutes couldn’t help but beam across my face. “Well, I guess I will.”

“No, you will.” Gavin replies with a playful side eye glance.

“Okay, I will.”

“And also promise that you’ll have lunch with me one day soon. Let’s say next week.”

“Sure. Whatever day is good for you.”

“How about Monday?” he shoots back as if he had a photogentic memory of his schedule.

I glance at my calendar on my desk and remember that I have the unfortunate task of spending Monday afternoon with Wes. “Hmm, actually Monday isn’t good but Wednesday will be great.”

“Cool.” With that, Gavin slides the papers over in my direction he had been holding onto before getting up from his seat. “Well, I don’t want to hold you up from your lunch. I just wanted to drop these papers off to you to give you a heads up about what we’ll be discussing at the meeting this afternoon.”

“Thanks! I’ll take a look at them.” I glance at the papers as I get up from my chair to walk him to the door.

“This lil chit chat was good. This means I expect a lot from our conversation at lunch next week.”

“Oooh, the pressure from the boss is too much for a girl to handle.” I laugh while pressing my hand against my heart.

“You’re funny. I can’t help but admit that any man who divorces a woman like you is a fool.”

With that statement, there is an awkward silence between us as I move from placing pressure on one of my legs to the other. Gavin reaches over and rubs the side of my face which causes me to freeze.

“You have mayonnaise right there. It’s been bothering me the past ten minutes.” Gavin laughs as he wipes the mayonnaise from the side of my mouth.

“How embarrassing.” I gently push his hand away and finish it myself. “Thanks.”

I’m saved from having to think up a way to bring this conversation by to my comfort zone when my receptionist, Megan, comes scurrying around the corner and in front of the door way with my mail in her hand.

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt?” Megan starts to walk away.

“No, Megan, you’re fine.” I reassure her. She was always overly concerned. I still don’t understand how we managed to make it this past year but I had a soft spot for her. She was working two jobs to help pay for nursing school and despite her sometimes dense attitude, she was a really sweet girl.

“Me and Mrs. Gr- …. Ahh, Ms. Bryant” Gavin quickly recovers. “We were just wrapping things up. So I’ll see you at 3:30 in the conference room?”

“3:30 it is!” Gavin slightly waves and confidently strolls down the hallway in his perfectly pressed black suit. As Megan walks past me to place the mail on my desk, I find myself standing in the doorway watching Gavin walk down the hall until he disappears out of sight. I cross my legs flushed that I could feel myself getting wet by just that one small encounter. I promptly remember the ethics of corporate politics as I bring myself out of what I believe is an innocent daydream. Or at least that’s what I plan to write it off as.