Suicide Silence

The day my life almost ended
I was sitting in my room longing for someone to just listen to the cry in my heart, but I was alone and it felt like a stone.
Cold and hard and with what choice?
My mom was long gone, alone in her own suicide called drugs and I hadn't seen my dad in years.
My foster mom, although she tried she didn't understand me
I thought the earth would be better off without me.
So I got up slowly, went to the kitchen and took a handful of pills.
I cried as they all went down my throat I was shaking and dropped some so when I was done I grabbed those too
I took a knife and thought about using it but I was too dizzy to do anything else I got to my bed and laid down. My foster mom came in and said "what are you doing in bed, its noon"
I didn't tell her what I did and she never asked I simply said "I'm sick" and then puked all over.
I did not die but now I know what its like to try to die and have God save your life before you know who he is.