Broken light.

A small insight in to my experience of domestic abuse. Anonymously. I'm not sure what to class this as so either poetry or spoken word.

Inside I am screaming. Inside I'm a mess. Outside I'm the girl, in the pretty yellow dress. Smile so bright I can light the room. No one knows about the gloom. I have this lump in my throat. Where he wrapped his hands around it and squeezed it closed. See the marks have gone, never again to be seen, the memory however... It never ends.  Sometimes I miss him and I try to pretend. He's here with me ... holding me right, but that's when I feel my throat get tight. When my head starts to spin and my legs go weak and all the pain is back and I can't even make a squeak. Could no one hear me or did they hear me scream? Ignoring the sounds of a woman in pain? Did no one see the marks I bore? Or did they choose just to ignore? Could no one see behind my mask? Or did they just choose not to ask. You never think that it will be you. You wouldn't stand for it. There had to be something you would do. Why didn't I leave? Why didn't I speak, not even a hint, when things were so bleak. What kind of power did he hold over me, to take the fight from inside of me. I stopped screaming, hoping for help. I knew it was my fault, I was in hell. So when I wake up, late at night, with my throat once again feeling so tight. After the nightmares have gone from my mind, I feel the emptiness creep up and I find,  I will always be a lesser version of me. I've lost my light.

Author's Note

This is one of my first attempts at something like this but I am just using this as an outlet for my feelings really. So reviews and comments are welcome but just know I'm not a writer nor am I here for validation. I just need my story to be known by someone, even anonymously.

Reviews

[Phyllis Souza]

More than a poem it's a plea. Fear of starting over, going through empty days, weeks, or possibly months of lonely days and nights. The (I) in your story needs a friend to give her the strength to do what she knows she has to do, if she ever is going to find peace. It takes only one little candle to light up her way.

[Trium Matt]

This is a very deep poem. Beautiful. It takes true talent to put this into words. It also shows that something may seem beautiful at first glance could just be covering up something terrible and ugly such as abuse.