Happy place

Today I'm staring at the snow,
The happy place I like to go,
Take a look and you will know,
Here is where I find my glow.

Three years have passed,
I'm free at last,
Where am I?
You shouldn't ask.

Today I'm staring at the sun,
Unwise it may be to some,
Here is where I hold the gun,
Weighing a few ounces,
But to me a ton.

Here I hold it to my head,
My body still shaking with unfathomable dread,
For any minute from now,
I will be dead.

I think again of my happy place,
My heart will no longer race,
It will slow down in pace,
Forever I'll be in my happy place.

So one last breath,
To be had,
One shot,
3 seconds,
This was my death.

Nothing to be done,
Nothing to be said,
She's gone now,
That girl is dead.