Dec 4th, not my place

I'm scared my seasonal depression is causing me to have feelings for someone. Someone who is not mine.

I think I'm falling into a cycle where I look for love and happiness in places I shouldn’t

where the love and happiness aren't mine to take or claim.

Every year I fall into a seasonal depression.

This year I think I might be turning to a friend of mine for comfort

to try and get away from my feelings and thoughts I turn to him to give me love and support

it’s not my place to do so.

He is not mine and I am not his though I do want to be.

His voice provides comfort in a way I was shocked to find out

the words flow out of his mouth like melodies,

they sing my mind to ease,

his eyes look so pretty,

they're brown and sweet like chocolate,

and his smile can stop me dead in my tracks

I do like him

though I really don’t want to.

I'm scared my feelings for him will grow as the darkness finds a home in my brain once again.

That they're going hand and hand, and in order for me to not slip through the cracks, I'm clinging to him.

This isn’t my place to do so though. 

He is not mine, but maybe I'd like him to be.

Author's Note

the not capitalizing certain stuff is a personal choice.