Dramatic Monologue

Dramatic Monologue with a twist Character: Myself (a shy quiet girl) Audience: Lexi Setting: End of class in the art room Goal: To admit how I really feel

Dramatic Monologue Twist:

I wont fall hard Ive always said,
until you got stuck in my head.
On the day after school,
I fell like the little fool
I am. I told my self not to over react,
it was one day in fact.
Tomorrow my heart wont show
any signs and Ill know
that it was just a one time leap.
Now just go sleep
I told myself that before,
but that was over a year ago
and I still think of you so
deeply. I made myself swear
that Id tell you how much I care
before we graduate this year
and say goodbye.
If only i hadn't been so damn shy
than I could of told you why
you mean the world to me.
I hope you now see
that you are girl on my mind
this whole time.

Author's Note

Grammar, punctuation, and if its even a monologue, I also need help with a title

I want to read this to the class, Its a way of being able to build my confidence and bring myself out of the closet, Please tell me what y'all really think!

Reviews

[Sydney]

This is really really good! A few grammar errors. First of all, near the end, your "could of told you" should be "could have told you." Also near the end, "that you are girl on my mind" should probably say "that you are the girl on my mind" or "you were the girl on my mind," something like that? Capitalize your I's and add in the appropriate apostrophes and you'll be good to go! I actually read this out loud to myself as I was reading and the meter and flow is very good, as is the content.
As far as a title, I think anything goes. If it were mine I'd call it something pretentious like "Discovery" or "Identity" or "Honesty." But do what you feel.
I wish you luck reading this to your class, especially if it's a step towards coming out. I've been there, and I know how nerve wracking it can be, but I think you'll do just fine. :)
If you'd like, I could use a review on my monologue "Dirty Words" on my profile.