X.

I miss when we used to sink together
among cavernous clouds of duvet
I miss when I'd break all the blunt wraps
and we'd laugh my embarrassment away

I miss when you drowned me in pride
thought you coined "Where've you been all my life?"
I miss when I was still veiled under your lies
When my love for you was worth all the strife

I miss when you had me believing it was mutual
when you made me a dank sandwich without bother
I miss when I used to respect you
and the way you chose to raise your daughter

I miss when you smiled like a total goober
when you got me to give you "that look"
I miss when we shared a drunk stupor
when you thought excess garlic the only way to cook.

I was open about everything
even the parts you couldn't stand to hear
At first I thought that was because it hurt you
but when you responded to my self hate with nonchalance
it became pretty f*****g clear.

You didn't deserve to be the
only one I sought out that night
crumpled on the bathroom floor
questioning the worth of my life
You didn't deserve my tears
and abused vices
I didn't deserve to feel
I had to make those sacrifices.

So much of myself was poured
into the mold for your success
all that remained was an empty cracked shell
That you so generously filled to the brim
with your apathy
then left me alone to discover my personal hell.

Reviews

[Devi DM]

Wow this was dark but really meaningful. You can feel the pain, the hurt and anger through this piece.