Together Until After The End

Name: Justin Hale

Age: 17

Passion: Nothing

I was driving home one day with my family listening to my favorite music on my phone. I was so happy, the happiest I had ever been or would ever be. Then all of the sudden I hear a scream and the deafening sound of metal and glass being crushed. I screamed the loudest I had ever screamed in my life, I kept screaming until something in my throat just shut down and I couldn’t scream anymore. I looked around desperately for my parents and my little brother but the world quickly turns into a blur of tears and everything goes quiet. Then, in a split second my mind starts to go into overdrive and I just close my eyes and try and calm myself down, I keep them closed for what feels like hours. Finally, I bring myself to open my eyes and when I do everything feels like I am in slow motion. That’s when I hear it, my favorite song playing, it’s in the middle of the guitar solo. The sound is so pure and crisp that it feels like something solid that I can almost grab onto and I am finally able to calm myself down.

Then, I hear another loud crash and I hear people yelling outside the car. After what feels like a day someone is finally able to pull the car door off of its hinges and pull me out, they carry me to an ambulance and sit me down and start taking my blood pressure and checking for broken bones, all the while trying to ask me questions to distract me from the scene in front of me. I don’t even try and answer because something in the back of my mind is screaming at me trying to tell me that I won’t be able to. I just sit and the song is still playing in my ears through everything that is happening. Somehow the music hadn’t stopped, the music didn’t die the song hadn’t even changed, hadn’t even faded in volume.

After they finish with all their tests and see that I am in stable enough condition to be left alone they rush over to try and help the rest of my family. I only catch a quick glimpse of each of them before the paramedics block my view, but even in that split second I was able to see that I didn’t have a family any more.

I watched the paramedics running around frantically trying to save my family but I know it’s helpless. I look down at my phone and see that the song is still playing, I turn up the volume and stand up. I’m not entirely sure why at first, but my feet begin to move towards the chaos in front of me and I let them. When I reach them I walk past the line of paramedics, firefighters, and police officers straight to my brother and parents and I just look at them and just like that tears start to stream down my face like two waterfalls pouring out of my eyes.

After a minute of just looking at them I think to myself, Why are they still trying to save them? They know that it’s helpless. Just stop. It’s hopeless I don’t have a family any more. They’re gone they aren’t coming back. I’ve accepted it why can’t you. At this point it is almost cruel to give someone false hope like this. It is unfair to all of you, if you keep trying to treat them you’re just prolonging their inevitable death. Don’t make them suffer any longer just let them die. Just let them go and leave them alone, it isn’t worth it any more. I’m alone either way, no matter how long you keep them alive, at least let them be happy, just don’t make me sit and watch as you people futilely try and save them when they can’t be saved.

Just as I finished that thought I was being pulled backwards by two police officers telling me to get back. I try to pull away from them but their grips on my arms were solid and refuse to waver. I keep trying to struggle away from them just hoping that they’ll let me go and at least say goodbye to my family. After continually struggling for almost a full minute I break free from their iron grip and I start to run back towards my family. When I get to them I stop and look at them one last time. I then stand up straight and walk back towards a police car with the door open, when I get there I peer inside and see a gun resting on the seat that one of the officers had probably dropped in a rush to get to my family.

I grab the gun and put it in the waistband of my jeans and think, I don’t want to live without a family. I don’t want to live feeling alone and abandoned, like there is no hope or color left in the world. I can’t live like that again and I should have the choice not to.

* * * * *

Name: Jack Young

Age: 32

Position:  Ignorant Police Officer

Thank god that boy got away from that scene, it was way too hectic and terrifying for him to watch. Honestly, I give the kid props for being able to escape me and my partner like that. I know the treatment is a lost cause at this point but, we can still give the kid some sort of  hope that his folks will be alright, at least for a little bit. It’s a tragedy, especially for a kid, no one in the world deserves this, but on the upside whatever music is coming through those headphones is keeping calmer than most adults in a situation like this. He’s not even crying, not one tear, I know he’ll cry eventually but, at least for now he’s remaining pretty calm.  

* * * * *

Name: Charles Menger

Age: 45

Position: Useless Paramedic

God, it’s our job to try and save these people but, we have to draw the line somewhere. We all know it’s hopeless. Everyone here knows that this is hopeless so why are they still trying, at this point it’s just cruel to the kid to be giving him this sense of false hope. The kid deserves to know the truth, he is gonna have to grow up without a mom or a dad or even a brother. I wish there was a chance for his family but there really isn’t, we’ve exhausted all of our options at this point now the only thing left to do is to let them go. It does seem like the kid is staying pretty calm though, he’s not crying anymore, that’s good, and he seems fairly put together. If I’m being totally honest with myself here the kid is doing better than most adults would in this situation. He’s a tough little guy, but, come on face facts, no one handles this well, no matter how stoic he wants to be, things like this, they kill everyone at least a little bit inside, and there isn’t a way to hide it. Even if this kid knows what’s happening to his family at this point he sure is doing job of hiding it, this is going to break his heart. I sure as hell hope I’m not the one who has to tell him. I mean no one is good at breaking this stuff to people, especially not a kid. God, I hope this kid is going to be okay.

* * * * *

I look around and see that everyone is looking at me like things are going to be okay, I know that my family is dead or at least dying. I feel the cold metal of the gun pressed up against my leg, I want to be done with all of this. I don’t want to be another fucked up kid that everyone treats like a pity case. I don’t want people pitying me the rest of my life. I know that there is therapy and support groups out there to help cope with this but, come on they are all just different ways of helping you mask the pain of what happened and I don’t want to mask it I want it to be gone, done, over with, I never want to have to deal with it again. And you know what, in a few minutes I’m not going to have to.

I walk over to my family car, now completely crushed, I wonder what caused the crash, I think. I walk around the car a few times looking at every piece of bent metal and broken glass. You and me both buddy, we’re both broken, crushed, and in pain, at least you can’t feel yours. When I finish examining the car I walk around in front of it where all of the paramedics can see me. I decide to climb on top of the car, when I finally pull myself onto the car I stand up straight and pull the gun out of my waistband. I take one last look at my parents, then, I lift up the gun and put the barrel against my temple, the metal feels cold against my skin, I rest my finger on the trigger, the music is still playing loudly in my ears. I hear screams coming from people telling me to put the gun down, that everything is going to be okay but I don’t listen to them. Finally, I pull the trigger and think, Goodbye, Annie, I’m sorry.

Name: Justin Hale

Age: 13

Time of Death: April 23rd, 2016 2:13 PM

Cause of Death: Suicide

Weapon Used: Pistol

Name: Annie Jane

Age: 16

Passion: Music

April: 22nd, 2016 5:00pm

I was at the park writing in my old ragged journal. It was fall. I was in my favorite t-shirt and pair of jeans. It was getting chilly so I also had on my friend Justin’s sweatshirts that he loaned me last month. I had meant to give it back but he went on a trip with his family and he wouldn’t be back until tomorrow, at least I hoped. Justin was my best friend, I don’t what I would do without him. Justin was really my only friend, I was alone without him. Everyone else didn’t really know me or they hated me, but Justin was always nice to me.

I was okay today, I was writing in my old tattered torn apart journal and was writing some songs. Every time I sat down and wrote songs like that I wrote them for someone, I never showed them to anyone, but, the last time I wrote a bunch of songs like this they were for Justin. He had asked me a while ago to write some songs about him. I agreed and wrote them and recorded them and had sent them off earlier that day.  Most of the songs actually turned out sounding really happy except for two or three that were really emotional and deep.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, it was Justin, he’d listened to the songs.

Justin: OMFG these r amazing!!! New favorite songs only song that’s better : Night In The Fall Air-Annie Jane 2015

Me: Glad you liked them thank you for the compliment. Seriously though will you quit it with that song it isn’t that good.

Justin: NO!!!!!!!NEVER!!!!!! It is the BEST song in the world.

Me: No it isn’t just let it go

Justin: Nope. You should really let me post that song somewhere.

I wish I’d never sent him that song, he won’t let it go. I mean it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have that

song out there somewhere, I mean come on no one will watch it anyway, I thought.

Me: Fine you can post it. I don’t care just don’t use my name

Justin: You got it!!! The username will be HaleJustinA

Me: Fine

That song was the only other song that Justin had ever heard and he was the only one that had ever heard it. He always said it was his favorite song and listened to it all the time. It made me happy, at least for a bit, every time he mentioned it but I always hated it. To be completely honest, as long as Justin liked that song than I could consider it a success. He always made being happy easier, he made me feel more confident in my skin. The thing is Justin never saved me if I was in trouble, he helped me up and supported me while I saved myself.

* * * * *

Date: April 23rd, 2016 2:00 PM

I woke up that morning so happy, Justin was getting back and he’d posted the video and it was already getting a lot of views. I honestly didn’t want to believe it was real but I was so happy that it was. Justin had texted me that morning saying that he was going to be back today and he would meet me at the park at 2:30. I couldn’t wait to see him and tell him how happy and grateful I was that he had posted the song for me and also punch him for making me this nervous when he wasn’t there to help me.

I left my house at 2:05 and started walking to the park, I couldn’t wait to see him I was still wearing his sweatshirt because it was cold. To get there you had to walk past this insanely busy street where there was a ton of accidents. Justin and I had seen more than our share of car crash scenes, luckily we had never seen any that too horrifically awful. This time was different, I had walked this route a thousand times and never would I have ever expected to see something like this. As I was approaching I was able to see that there were a bunch of ambulances, police cars, and fire trucks. I had never seen anything that completely terrifying, the car was completely pulverised and there were three people on stretchers that were completely mangled. I had stopped dead and was just sitting there staring at the scene. I eventually began to inch my way towards the scene keeping my head down, I was in complete shock it felt like my throat was closing up. I couldn’t process the amount of chaos that was going on in front of my eyes.

I was nowhere near prepared to see something like that, but what I saw next was something that no words can possibly describe it, the complete and utter horror and sadness that hit me all at once. I had inched my way closer to the scene so that I could see everything better. As I got even closer I saw a boy about my age climb on top of the mangled crashed car, he had something in his hand, at first I couldn’t quite see what it was, but as I got even closer I saw that it was a gun. At first, the gun was all I could notice, my eyes seemed to fixate on it, hypnotised by the weapon. After what felt like hours of not being able to take my eyes off the gun I finally directed my gaze towards the boy’s face and what I saw made my heart freeze. Justin. It was Justin.

Justin. No. Not Justin. This isn’t real. Someone please wake me up, I have to be having a nightmare this can’t possibly be real, I thought as I began to sprint towards him screaming his name. Then, in a split second it all changed, I felt myself beginning to fall, at first it almost felt like slow motion, then, just like that, time caught back up with me as my head hit the concrete. Everything disappeared but the second before it did I heard the gunshot and thought,  Please stay with me. Then, everything was gone.

* * * * *

Name: Mason Jesse

Age: 27

Position: Paramedic

My god, what just happened? That girl just died trying to stop her friend from dying, what kind of fucked up world is this. Why the heck did this girl have to die? Why the heck did either of them have to die. That girl was willing to sacrifice anything for that boy and she literally gave up everything. Everything she had, everything she knew. Life is just one fucked up game that no one can ever win at. It isn’t fair to that girl to die for him and it isn’t fair that the boy lost his family and it isn’t fair that both of them died. None of this is okay, who knows, maybe they’ll be happy for eternity wherever they may end up but they were both so young. What the f**k world, why did these kids have to die together, what are you trying to get out of this game. I can not think of anything more tragic than two people dying to make the deaths of others painless.

* * * * *

Name: Annie Jane

Age: 16

Date: April 23rd 2016, 2:13 PM

Cause of Death: Blunt force trauma to skull

Name: Jessica Jane

Age: 40

Passion: Art

Date: July 23rd, 2016, 10:00 AM

My alarm had been yelling at me for the past two minutes. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t just cry all day. It was a sad day I needed to keep going, that’s what Annie wouldn’t wanted. I finally rolled myself over and turned off my alarm. After about a minute of silence I got up and walked down stairs. At first I didn’t understand why I was trying to force myself to be happy and keep going, it had only been three months since Annie and her friend had died, it wasn’t fair to ask myself to keep going.

When I had finally made it downstairs and made myself breakfast I decided to spend the day in my studio painting. My husband,George, had gone out for the day so I had the house to myself. I loved to paint, it always made me feel happy and calm but, today everything seemed sad. I walked upstairs and sat in front of my easel, I had set up a canvas the night before and hadn’t touched it. I had my paints in front of me but I could not think of anything, the entire world was grey and dark today even though it was sunny outside and sunlight was pouring through my window.

After almost five full minutes I decided to paint a recreation of my favorite photo of my little Annie and her best friend Justin. The picture had been taken only a few days before their deaths but it was still my favorite. That picture was the last one taken where they both looked genuinely happy. Neither of them were the happiest kids to begin with, they both had their demons that no one knew about except each other. But, that one day in that one picture they were so happy. Before I took the picture, Justin and Annie were here laying on the couch watching Annie’s favorite movie, they were sitting right next to each other and Justin had his arm around Annie. This made me so happy to see because Annie never liked people to touch her or invade her space in any way, shape or form, but seeing her completely comfortable with someone near her was just so enlightening. When I walked in Justin paused the movie and said hello as I walked over to grab my phone, he had been such a polite and sweet boy and he was so kind to Annie all the time. As I was walking back out Annie had whispered something to Justin and they both started laughing hysterically, I turned around and saw Justin hugging Annie and smashing her against the back of the couch while she was laughing and screaming at him to let her go. When I saw that I knew that I had to capture that moment, so I took my phone out and pointed out at both of them Justin looked over and saw and turned Annie towards it so I could see her face and said, “Say cheese, Annie,” and I snapped the picture. That picture was the only thing that had made me remember them both without crying my eyes out. The picture was so completely innocent and childlike, Annie had a beanie on and hair in her face, Justin’s hair was messy and his usually perfect smile was crooked and off center and they both had a blanket tangled around their legs.

I spent the entire rest of the day in my studio trying to recreate this photo, it was relaxing and had actually made me feel better. It looked almost exactly the same except for two things, the background was in black and white while Annie and Justin were in realistic, yet more vibrant, color and I made them look like children. I had decided to make them children to showcase the complete innocence of the moment and to show how small they both were compared to their demons and to how much light they brought to each other. They had both died too young and had demons large that no one could ever truly understand.

They were so similar to each other, so stubborn and secretive and always wanted to be alone. They had been friends since the seventh grade and talking to Justin’s parents we all soon realized how much happier they had both become. His parents had told me so much about how before Justin had met Annie he rarely laughed or even smiled. I told them that it had been the same for my little Annie, how she was always sad and never seemed to be able to have fun or talk to people. When I had first met Justin I knew that he was the perfect person for Annie They usually just hung out at the park or in Annie’s room but I knew that Annie was able to open up to him. I never heard them actually talk about these things which I was okay with because Annie was always happy to see Justin and came home from school every day just a little happier.

* * * * *

Name: George Jane

Age: 42

Date: July 23rd, 2016, 7:37 PM

I hope Jess is okay, I know how upset she is, I should never have left her alone, especially not today.  I feel terrible but I had to get out of the house, do something productive, plus, Jess needed some time to herself. She is probably at home painting, I hope she’s happy, or at least enjoying herself a little bit, she deserved it after three months of depression. She always said that she was feeling okay and  was doing better but I knew she was lying, no one had even begun to get over their deaths. We all knew that they were too young but, in a way, I thought that it was better for both of them that they both died, together, Not because I didn’t miss them both dearly, but because I remembered how sad Annie was before Justin came into her life, how utterly miserable and how much she cried and how isolated she felt. From talking to Justin’s parents I knew that he had been the same way, depressed, never able to smile or laugh.They always said that Annie did the same thing for Justin that he did for Annie, made him happy, made him feel safe. They were so similar that they were able to open up to each other and made each other happy. If Annie ever came home from school crying Justin was right by her side, sometimes crying with her, sometimes holding a stoic face for her, he took her upstairs to her room and  talked to her, he would stay up there with her for hours until she felt better, and by the time they came down they were both smiling. Annie was so much happier when he was around, their relationship was so innocent like two children, they were closer than any couple I had seen. They had never dated or even kissed, at least not to my knowledge, they cared about each other too much to even think of sacrificing their friendship. They needed each other almost as much as they needed air or food. In a way, I was glad they died together so they could continue to make each other happy for the rest of eternity no matter where they may have ended up.

Names: Jessica and George Jane

Ages: 40 and 42

Date: July 23rd, 2016 8:00 PM

George had made it home safely and when he arrived we decided to watch Annie’s favorite movie before we went to bed. We spent the rest of the night enjoying the movie, both reminiscing about Annie and Justin. We were okay for now.

Name: Jessica Jane

Age: 85

Date of death: April 23rd, 2061, 7:35 AM

Cause of Death: Old Age

Name: George Jane

Age: 85

Date of Death: July 23rd, 2059, 5:12 PM

Cause of Death: Congestive heart failure

   

Part Two

What Might Have Been

The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited, or erased;

it can only be accepted.

- Unknown

Name: Justin Hale

Age: 17

Date: July 23rd, 2016, 3:00 PM

Passion: None

I kept running towards her, I didn’t dare slow down as I was scared someone would take her away for me again. When I was finally within earshot I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Annie!”

She didn’t hear me, that was like agony at this point, but I just kept screaming her name until I reached her and wrapped her in my arms and lifted her up. She let out a shriek of happiness and surprise as her feet left the ground, but I didn’t let her go.

“Hey! Let me go, “ she shrieked, “Justin! Put me down!”

Eventually, I did put her down but I didn’t release her from my embrace. Even with her right in front of me I was scared that someone would come and take her away from me again.

Almost as if she had read my mind she said, “Justin, it’s okay, you can let me go, I’m not going to leave you. You know I would never do that to you.”

With that I loosened my grip on her and she pulled away, she looked up into my eyes and smiled as a tear escaped her left eye. I used my thumb to wipe it away but, that only made her cry more and she pulled back into a hug as the tears began to stream down her face like waterfalls. I had managed to hold back my own tears but, at that moment tears began to pour down my face as if two floodgates had been opened up behind my eyes. I tried to fight them back but it was a futile endeavor and in the end it only made me cry more somehow. We stood in the same place locked in an embrace for what seemed like hours crying. I stopped crying before Annie did but, that was usually how it went but, like usual I kept hugging her until she stopped crying as well. I never complained and I hardly said a word, I knew she needed me, to hold on to, whether she was crying out of happiness, fear, anger, or sadness I would never let her go until she was okay. She meant too much to me to let her cry alone.

The Beginning

I could still remember the day we had met. We had been in the seventh grade, it had been a Friday at the end of the day. She and I walked the same route home but, at the time, we had never talked. That day in particular,however, she had been crying. When I noticed I felt a spear of agony enter my heart, I couldn’t let it go so I caught up with her. I tried to talk to her but she wouldn’t answer and all she could do was cry. Eventually, I took a few quick steps forward, turned around, and sidestepped in front of her. In the moment I had no idea what to do but, without even thinking I pulled her into an embrace to try and keep her from walking. I was, of course, expecting her to just pull away and keep walking, but, instead she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me so tight that it was almost hard to breathe. I kept her in that embrace until she pulled away.

When she finally did, she looked up at me and said, “Thank you.”

I felt too awkward to say anything so I just looked her dead in the eyes and smiled at her, she smiled back and we walked the rest of the way next to each other in silence, glancing at each other every once in awhile and smiling. She was very clearly shy but, I was to and it felt comfortable knowing that both of us were feeling the same thing. We walked until we got to the park where, usually, was where we parted ways and went to our own houses but, that day she touched my arm lightly and then she handed me a note and a flash drive labeled, Night in the Fall Air. I didn’t know what to say or even what to think so, again, I just smiled and wrapped my arms around her, she returned my embrace and gave me another tight squeeze.

I knew exactly how she felt, alone, I could tell that she was the kind of tired that sleep can’t fix, I had dealt with that exhaustion for the last three years. The only thing was, I had ignored it, for the past three years. Seeing her like that had brought all of my demons back, that is when I realized that I could never drown my demons, they knew how to swim, and they could swim fast and they were catching up to me. That day was the one time I let go before she did, not because I wanted to, not because I was running late, but, because I felt terrible about standing there hugging someone who thought that I was fine and my problems were nonexistent and thought would be able to help her but, in reality, I was just as, if not more, broken than her.

Everything had washed over me at once and I couldn’t handle it so I pulled away as fast as I could without pushing her away, looked down at her, smiled, and said, “I have to go, but, we’ll talk later, okay.”

I turned and tried to walk away but, she grabbed my arm and turned me back around to face her, when she looked at my face I had already begun to cry, tears were falling down my cheeks and I couldn’t control them not even with her right in front of me trying to understand.

She reached down and grabbed both my hands and pulled them close to her face and, before I could stop her, pulled my sleeve back and uncovered the scars on my arms. I tried to pull my arms away from her but she had an iron grip locked around my wrists.

She looked up at me and said, “It’s okay, you can’t be expected to be able to deal with this on your own, no one can cope with this alone, I can’t either. There is a reason people call your problems demons, they are cruel and will stop at nothing to drag you down and bring down to the point of hurting yourself in ways like this. To be honest that isn’t even the worst part of having to deal with these demons, the hardest part is trying to hide from them or get rid of them. Your demons continually force you into playing this sick and twisted game where they are given weapons of mass destruction while you’re given a feather and a twisted maze filled with all of your worst fears to navigate through all the while trying to escape the demons that are chasing you. They force you to relive your worst memories and take away all the sunshine and color in the real world so you are never able to truly able to enjoy your life at any given point in time. You are forced to either fight them head on and deal with the constant pain and suffering or try and run and end up tormenting yourself by resorting to extreme forms of punishing yourself because they begin to make you think it is your fault. They push you down into this permanent feeling of sadness and horror in which it is almost impossible to escape alone. This game that you are forced to play is in no way fair, but, the most unfair is that… they can’t lose and you can’t win, these demons can never die or disappear, they can change form, they can weaken, they can even become temporarily invisible to you, but they can never truly go away. Everyone is born with their own set number of demons, this number never grows or shrinks, the demons themselves just change. The world is a f*****g mess, and the demons that you are given only make it worse. No one can be expected to cope with this twisted game on their own, this game is one that can never be won, I’m sorry to say that no matter who you are or how many shrinks you pay to try and help you, it isn’t going to work, they can’t fix your problems, they can make you think you’re okay but in reality you never will be. You will never be okay. I know that sounds terrible and like I am being cruel to you by saying this but it is true, life isn’t going to be fair to you just because you paid someone 100 dollars an hour to talk to you  because life knows that you could’ve just as easily talked to a homeless man living on the street. I promise that you can make things better but, I can also promise that you won’t be okay.”

I hung to every word she had said, still crying, but listening all the same, not because it was particularly interesting in the way she had put it or because I wanted to be polite but, because what she had said had been true, life wasn’t fair and this sick twisted game you are forced to play with your inner demons isn’t fair and you can ever win only weaken. I knew once she’d finished her little lecture that I was never going to find someone like her again. She saw the world in almost the exact same way I did, lonely, dark, cruel, painful, and punishing, yet somehow, she still had a little bit of light still left in her eyes that baffled me. I had met several other depressed people in my life and I had never seen a single one of them still have a light that was still trying to fight its way through their eyes, it was so beautiful and hopeful to see. I had lost my light a while ago and I truly missed it, mostly because I knew it still had the potential to be there. The strangest thing about the light in Annie’s eyes was that, though the light was very clearly there and still shining, the light itself seemed almost sad, as if her inner demons were sending a signal to Annie saying that they were never going to leave her be and that just to teach her a lesson they were going to let her keep her precious light but, torture her b tainting the entire thing with sadness, Nonetheless, the light still had a twinge of happiness left that I could see in her and that had me in complete shock, Annie still had a chance to fight against her demons, she still had a chance to get them out of her life forever.

Finally, after just staring at her, hypnotized by this strange light, I murmured, “The light, in your eyes, it’s beautiful.”

She gave me a tiny smile that faded almost as soon as it had came, “I didn’t think that there was a light left inside any of us , especially not me, I always feel almost completely dead inside and like all my eyes ever show is sadness and despair like I need help or something. Well, at least I’m one of the lucky ones that still has a light still in there. You have one to, you know, it’s really, really, dim and dark and sad but, it’s there and you have to work with what you’re given. For people who are as sad and terrified about the world as us the light that is supposed to be shining bright inside us usually ends up either blocked entirely by our own fear or tainted with our memories of sadness and despair. Everyone who still has happiness in their eyes thinks that if they can see something in another person’s eyes that the other person is fine when in reality that something is probably sadness and fear. You have a light in there, like I said it is dim and sad, but it’s there and that’s what counts, you have to cherish whatever light you have left.”

I couldn’t even begin to understand what she had just said to me but, somehow my heart and my mind knew that she was right. What she had said spoke to me in a way that I couldn’t even begin to comprehend at the time, she somehow took all of her problems broke them down to a point where she could understand them and why they were there and then put them back together in a way that made them understandable yet still ever present in her life. I couldn’t believe that I had just so happened to find this person that I could actually relate to, talk to, and feel comfortable around, someone who understood and accepted me for me and my problems and could ignore the scars that I had given to myself.

After standing and making slightly awkward eye contact for about thirty seconds we finally walked over and sat at a picnic table and talked for hours until both of our parents were calling and texting us frantically telling us to get home. When we did finally acknowledge our parents we exchanged numbers and continued talking for the rest of the night.

Even after years of being friends with her I could still look back on that day and smile. Many people may have seen that day as ridiculous and completely unnatural. In reality, unless you were there or were like Annie and I you wouldn’t be able to understand.

* * * * *

We had stood locked in an embrace for almost ten minutes before Annie was able to gain control over her tears and pulled away. She looked up and smiled at me, though tears still stained her face, she looked happy, almost too happy to be her but, nonetheless it was genuine happiness in her eyes, not the happy she tried to fake around me when she didn’t want to talk. It never worked when she tried to be fake happy around me but, she still tried and that was okay, it was a force of habit at this point and I couldn’t blame her.

I had been gone on a trip with my family for the past month and even though we texted, called, and video chatted every single day it was still the hardest thing in the world for us to be away from each other for that long. To a lot of people our relationship sounded like some sort of love story but in reality it was about as far from a relationship as you could get. How Annie always explained it to people who asked was that the reason we could never be in a relationship is because we were so close and knew so much about each other that we would hate each other because we would be terrified of any problem because then one of us could just tell everyone all of our secrets. I mean it was a pretty s**t explanation for it but it was true. Annie and I had never kissed or even thought about kissing, ever. I always thought it was better that way because that way we were able to sit close to each other while we watched a movie at her house or I could put my arm around her while we walked down the street or I could lend her my jacket if she was cold and it wouldn’t cause any sort of tension or stress for either of us. I absolutely loved having this kind of relationship with her and I couldn’t even imagine how we would be if we were a couple. We shared things with each other that most couples don’t share with each other and if couples did ever share things with each other the way we did, I don’t think that they would be able to handle it. The stuff Annie and I were able to share with each other was so completely personal that it was almost unhealthy how healthy relationship was. If one of us ever got mad at the other we could destroy each other’s lives emotionally within seconds. For most people that would panic inducing but for us it was so comforting to have someone like that in our lives, it actually made us happy being able to give someone else control over part of your life, just so that we wouldn’t have to endure it all on our own.

To most, Annie and I were these strange emotionless creatures due to the fact that when around other people we both refused to show emotion. For both of us sharing emotion any sort of emotion with anyone other than each other was utterly petrifying. We both knew that most all other people wouldn’t be able to understand or handle the emotions we built up inside ourselves. There were plenty of other people at our school that had it worse than us, there were also a lot of other people who had similar emotional turmoil inside their heads. We both knew that all too well. The only real difference between us and them was that they basically flaunted their problems and made it seem like those problems were the fault of other people. Annie and I both knew that our own personal emotions and problems were our own personal problems and emotions and that there was absolutely no use in blaming them on other people, if anything that made them worse. Annie and I always complained about people who blamed others for their problems, we both agreed that it was basically spitting in the faces of people like Annie and I who realized that there were people in the world who were far worse off than us.

Annie and I sat at the park and talked for hours, getting up every once in a while to stretch our legs. We ignored every other person there and silenced our cell phones, not that anyone would be calling us. It was always so calm and peaceful talking with each other, like no one else existed. We could be so open and free with each other. T was almost sad having a conversation because we both knew it had to end and we had to go home eventually even though neither of us wanted to. We talked about everything, from my trip, to the color of the leaves on the trees, to politics. Sometimes people who walked by and overheard our conversations gave us looks of either happiness or complete and utter confusion which, once they were out of earshot, Annie and I would began laughing hysterically about because of how surprised they were about how odd our conversations seemed.

Eventually, both of our phones started going off every few minutes with texts and calls from our parents telling us that it was time to go home. Anni and I, as usual ignored them for half an hour at least before finally picking up our phones and asking to stay. Both of our parents said another half hour, then we had to head home. We always took advantage of whatever extra time we were given and milked every single minute. When the half hour finally ran out we both stood up and gave each other a hug that, as per the usual, lasted about one to two minutes before finally parting ways. The hug was like a tradition for us, for however long it lasted it was pure bliss, something that could never be taken away from us, an experience shielded from the rest of the world, our own personal bliss.

* * * * *

Reality of the Situation

Hello, yeah, hi. I bet a lot of you thought that story was really sweet and cute didn’t you. Bet you thought that the characters ended up surviving and being totally fine, didn’t you. Nope, sorry to tear apart your fantasy but, the only truth in that story was how they met and their past. The sad truth is that I stood at both of their funerals. I watched as their parents cried at the very sight of their children’s caskets being laid in the ground. I can’t describe to you the weight of the air on my shoulders, how utterly depressing the atmosphere of the room was. At both of their funerals they played Annie’s music that her parents had found on her computer, they, of course, played the songs that Annie had written for Justin. The music was beautiful and fairly upbeat, yet somehow it made everyone feel more upset than before, granted, not all the songs were upbeat and happy. One of the songs in particular Justin’s favorite song that Annie had given to him and him alone. Justin had loved that song so much, in fact, that was the song he had been listening to before he made the devastating choice to put a bullet in his brain. The song was called “Night in the Fall Air”, it truly was beautiful and yet, somehow it seemed as if all the beauty had been drained from it after they had both died. To many that may sound tragic and terrible but to me, it seemed rather fitting. Annie had given that song to Justin and Justin alone, she had trusted him to not let anyone else here it, and to me it was unfair and disrespectful that their parents would play the music that was not meant to be heard by anyone other than Justin.

I bet by now you are probably wondering who the heck I am. A valid wondering I suppose. I’m sure that some of you even have theories at this point, don’t lie I know you do. The classic, and probably the most logical answer, would most likely be either I’m a human form of Death or one of Annie and Justin’s other friends. I hate to be the one to crush the dreams of those who had those theories, but, I really don’t, I’m not Deathe and Justin and Annie didn’t have any other friends. I am a combination of Justin and Annie’s souls. Just so we’re aware I do not feel bad for those I may have offended for mocking their intelligence. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, I am a combination of Annie and Justin’s souls. I am the kind of soul that every living thing has that gives them the ability to watch over those they loved and also those who impacted their lives. In life, as you have most likely deduced, Annie and Justin were very very close and cared for each other very deeply. For many that seems sweet and good, which it truly is, but, for souls it means something else as well as being sweet and wonderful. For souls, it means that if after death individual souls have ability to combine if whoever's souls they may be wish to continue being together for the rest of eternity. The result of this combination, of course, are souls such as myself. The process of combining two souls is beautiful and can truly show the love two people have each other, which, clearly, Justin and Annie had in surplus. In the case of most friendships, especially those that occur between people as young as they were, their souls don’t combine, in fact, it is extremely rare, as most friends are not nearly as close as they perceive themselves to be. Annie and Justin, however, had so much concern and love for each other that it would have been nearly impossible for their souls not to combine.

I know that this isn’t the happy twist explanation many of you were hoping for but, at least you’ve got an explanation. At least now you know what happened to Annie and Justin, at least you know that they are happy, and at least you have the luxury of knowing that Justin and Annie will be happy together for the all of eternity. I know that for many of you this is hardly an ending for such a tragic tale but, the sad truth of the matter is that, this is Annie and Justin’s fate. You have to realize that stories end and lives end and there is nothing you can do about it, all you can do is accept it and move on. Just remember that Justin and Annie are happy, forever combined in their own personal feeling of bliss.

Author's Note

This is the first story I ever wrote. Ignore any bad grammar. This is a work in progress so I appreciate any advice you can give me. This will hopefully be a part a collection, but for now this is it.