Sweet and Forbidden

Desires with the tension of pulled hair

Ripe tastes of something sweet and forbidden

Lavish games born of a passion

Ripping off the artificial veneer
of acceptable behavior
with the wetness
of wild animistic sex

Cut away the curtains
of a world with no color

The arch in my neck
a bite driving me down
into kneed submission

As he begins to
feed me
his

L
E
N
G
T
H

By Samantha Cambell

Reviews

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A graded peice that leaves the reader satisfied, well done, good read.

[Vria P Crow]

"Ripping off the artificial veneer"

Beautiful quote! I agree that we are all artificial and it lends to insanity. I can relate. I always want to just rip off my mask and tell people to go f _ _ _ themselves ;)

"with the wetness
of wild animistic sex"

hehe I like this one. I admit, it does make me blush immensely. My favorite word is "animistic" sex because I have honestly never used it in my erotic poetry. Honestly, I found it to be:

1. Humorous
2. Sexual
3. Quirky
4. Honest
5. Realistic

"into kneed submission"

haha I was confused for a moment. However, after reading it, I came up with several interpretations of the word "kneed."

1. Knee
2. Need

hehe I like what you did there ;)

Seriously speaking, I love the fantasy. It reminds me of my sad obsession with the following:

1. Anne Rice, "Interview with a Vampire"
2. V.C. Andrews, "Flowers in the Attic"
3. Laurel K. Hamilton, "Kiss of Shadows"

I love how you referred to his penis as

L
E
N
G
T
H

Hehe It made me giggle. I thought it was clever. I like how you used the formatting skills to elongate the VISUAL POETRY. Nice job :)

CONCLUSION

Overall, I found this poem to be:

1. Beautiful
2. Humorous
3. Sexy
4. Innocent
5. Passionate

WARNING

Just be careful, dearie! I will always keep reminding you. It is upsetting that many will take advantage of sweetness. Honestly, I sense that you are intelligent so I do not believe anyone would mess with you:D

love,
ria

p.s. You put me in my place when I am way off base! ;)

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

I love how you break it down in a review :) I use the word animistic quite often lol

you should read Primal poetry http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/VirginPoet/1054114/

and

Feral Kisses http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/VirginPoet/1035225/

[Vria P Crow]

Thank you:D I will take that under advisement.

hehe Your welcome! I try to keep it simplistic so it can be understood better.

Happy writing!

[Vria P Crow]

Oh and for future reference, dearie:D Please post it in my comment box on my profile for further requests since it is a little easier. hehe ;)

I think that Feral Kisses sounds pretty! ;)

[Fernando Pessoa]

There is an erotic, sensual cry that pleads for both the tender and the wildness of pleasure. Trusting into total submission is rare, yet seems you know that it brings a freedom like no other.

Giacomo Casanova: "The raging fire which urged us on was scorching us; it would have burned us had we tried to restrain it."

[David Wesley]

"Ripping off the artificial veneer
of acceptable behavior
with the wetness
of wild animistic sex"

Freaking awesome section (!!!!!!) - you have a unique style - very raw and intense. Still getting used to it =)

[Barbara Walker]

Love the structure of this. It adds much to the message. When two people get behind private doors, they can let it all hang out, so to speak. Each of your words flows into the next and the conclusion is obvious, without being trite. Much erotic poetry is written by writers in an immature need to put dirty words on paper. This is not that type. A sensuous piece with a bit of naughtiness. Enjoyed reading.

[Chris]

Cute word pic...

[Mark MacDonald]

This poem has great motion, a thrusting motion, if I may dare say. The present perfect verbs: ripping and driving push the reader forward. The lines:

"Cut away the curtains
of a world with no color

The arch in my neck
a bite driving me down
into kneed submission" are especially dramatic and stimulating. Nicely executed work. Thank you

[Steve]

You have captured this situation very well. I like each part of this write.

[brucethemaster]

A really good use with words here. This is for a sweet and forbidden at its finest.

[DrD]

Seductive and visual, this genre has its special place and you have made it a better place with this work.