His Love Was Never Real

I'm dying

before I'm

even dead

Memories

haunt me

as I lay

This bed

no longer

offers

Comfort

Rest

Love

Peace

I almost died

to take his pain

But he

left me

for dead

so many

knife's

in my

back

My heart

aches

Were any of his

I love You's

even real

He broke me

til I could not feel

Am I to ever heal

to ever love

for he burned

my soul

with lies

I can

never

trust

him

again

This man I loved

was never real

Did he ever

love me

How to love

he did not know

No matter

how much

I did love him

Never enough 

would it ever be

I wish I could 

forget I care

Why can I

make myself

love him not

Why can't I

hate him

In these chains

my heart will rot

Another betrayal

has left me lost

Why did he lead

my heart to this

death march

When all it did

was love him

How deeply I

once did feel

Was any moment

even real

Was every touch

Every kiss

just a lie

I wish my heart

would say goodbye

I'm tired of the

lonely tears I cry

Its cutting

through my soul

I'm tired of being hurt

by the broken shards

of my heart

Our love was

never as precises

all as his lies

We died

He killed US

So

I carry us

in my heart

but he is just

buried there within

that graveyard

that once bloomed

There's nothing

in this world that

compares to the open

wound that aches

in my chest

When it hits me

that I will never

make him happy

that I will never 

be enough

He will constantly

stab me in the heart

then ask why 

I'm having trouble

breathing

I don't know why

I love you

when all you've

ever done

is make me

bleed

I'm falling apart

you destroyed me

and all you

can do is

watch

All you can do is

make up lies

All you do is ignore

what you've done to me

Yet beg forgiveness

from other women

All you do

is walk around

on every

broken

piece

of me

But

I know

now

His love

was never

real

You see

I've been

collecting 
things in 

my chest 

Quietly placing them 
on shelves of bone

Hidden away where 
no one can see them 

Tucked

neatly 
next to

rotting

things to

painful to

give a name

Its filled

it's cluttered
With things

I know I

shouldn't

keep there

Because

your love

was never

real

A crushing weight 
Wrecking my ribcage 

Sadness has made 
a home out of me 

Because I will be 
sad until I die 

He doesn't talk 
his heart is disconnected 
I have to live with 
My mouth shut 

Words so heavy laden 
that sank my heart 
Into an abyss 

I guess

I should be

thankful

Because

Nobody

without 
a broken

heart 
can

write 
worth

a f**k 

and I 

I can't

imagine 

The darkness 

That will
devour me 

Depression

like quicksand

His love....

was never

real

By Samantha Pruitt

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I missed your poetry my dear friend. Love seem impossible. I thoughts I was to crazy to stay with one woman. Like John Donne wrote. We don't find love. Love will find us. You have a wonderful heart dear Samantha. Love will find you. Powerful and worthwhile poetry my dear friend. Please send read requests. I do adore your work. You are one of my oldest friend. I don't have many.
Coyote