She Must be me

This is a poem about how i feel...corny sounding i know

 

She must be me

Tattered dreams

A broken soul

A shattered heart

A big black hole

 

A room filled with people

It seems so dead

There’s a man in the window

It’s all in her head

 

She does not admit it

But she is scared

Not many know

The pain she has bared

 

She smiles in the morning

She cries in the night

It never did matter

How much she could fight

 

She hates her past

But she would never erase it

Just sometimes she wishes

She didn’t have to face it

 

She tells herself

Take it day by day

And she hopes that she can

When she folds her hands to pray

 

She wears a mask

At school and at home

It once was like steel

But now it’s like foam

 

People are noticing

That something is wrong

They can hear a missing note

In her once glorious song

 

This girl’s poor heart

Can’t take the pain

She feels like she

Is going insane

 

She knows she can make

This she is sure

But after every brick wall

There’s another locked door

 

This girl is who

I didn’t think I could be

But if I’m writing about her

Then she must be me…

 

Reviews

[Chirpy!]

This is a amazing write...so personal!
I would change prey to pray.

[Chrissy]

wow.
gourgusly deep
verry nice.
i injoyed read ing this.
if flowed verry sweetly, and had me think what this was about what your problem was that you want it to go away.
writing about your problem is a good way to stay sane i know its saved me several times, got my anger out.
saddness and sarrow or happy and joyful emotions. anyway to show the muzzy(confusing) emotions through a pen and papper helps me im sure it helps you.
again i say
i quite injoyed this peace.
if it was ever to be published i would read it! heck i would buy it!
keep writing!
now i am off to the wizard the wonderfull wizard of oz!
noo im off to go read more of your writing.
you have such a talent i can tell just from this one poem

[revenant21]

Wow, good job, I look forward to more of your writing....

[Olive]

I can relate to this.Very important stuff we're dealing with.
You have true talent,I hope you realise that.I think what gets me most in this situation is why don't people really care until it is shown?I love the fact is that your showing people that this everywhere,I mean even someone like you,and you seem like a very very nice person.I don't think this sounds corny in the least.

[passion]

that is personal! it's hard to keep up appearances when the only person you hiding from is yourself.. I feel this. I can relate...

[Walkingblind]

this doesnt sound corny at all, this is real feelings that ur leaving with coming
to life in words. The rhyming hooked me and i was drawn to know more about this girl,
not to feel sad but to see her strength as she goes through the everday. I liked the
whole poem but the 7th stanza is great:

She wears a mask
At school and at home
It once was like steel
But now it's like foam

i like how you explain how your outer tough shell which you've painted to potray a
different you is becoming mushy and people are starting to tell that its not the real u.
Great poem keep writing okay you will go far!

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

I love you poem...and i am happy to be your friend x0x0 do not stop writing.. I feel your pain too my dear!

[Natalie Sabillon]

This is really relatable, maybe not in permanence for many, but there can be periods when a person feels like that, I know I have. Poems like this make people much more united in knowing that they have someone out there who shares a feeling, or event. Well done!

[EmpressPoetess]

So soul wrenching, so painful to read. As you may know from reading me, I'm a sexual abuse survivor. I find that writing is the best therapy for me, because I can take the ugly and weave it into something exceptable. To be able to write about something so aweful, shows you're healing. And this is an exceptional piece of writing! Keep at it, keep healing and fighting for your right so sing, little dove!

Empress

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Made me feel as if it were written for me in many ways.. except I would say I am reachable.. good flow.. I really liked the ending as well.. once in a while we endeavour upon someone who reminds us of ourselves;
Sad.. but unfortunately this is a part of everyday life for some of us and then there is the common wrong-time wrong-place sagas. Truly sad ... I would take off the corny-sounding; this may be how you feel if you are a shy writer but there is truly nothing corny about what you wrote. It's actually quite serious... I love it as I feel it.