Persistant Weed

This is one of my finer works in my opinion, I have rethought, and re writ it a few times, but the core remains solid, and id say its finished now. Persistent Weed is a metaphor for a love crisis

I lay there, upon the soils of falsified hope
With every minutes wind my body quivers.
My roots, nestled in dirt and grime
Inside my hollow shell of existence remaining all alone
Saddened because of what I blossomed as
My body disfigured, my brain warped,
My emotions abstract, my soul repugnant.
I can never be the same as I once was,
a seed of ignorant bliss.
I’m trebling with fear
For I know not what awaits me.
I have to live but how can I without you.
I am in purgatory it seems,
My desires a persistent weed.
Your desires a graceful dove in flight,
so far above my garden of crushed dreams,
so distant from my leaves of lust, my petals of love.
You fly so high seeming like a stellar goddess.
So I follow suit, do as Icarus did
I fly away, after your beautiful silhouette,
upon my grotesque wings
I have crafted out of feathers and wax.
As I reach out to you so close to the radiant sun
My wings, so brittle, they fail
My feathery freedom melts away
The sun so hot as if a message from god himself
My liquid wings cover my pitiful body.
The wax hot, scorching,
Burning as I plummet to the inferno of dirt and grass
Upon the earth’s flesh I lay once more.
Broken, burned, and scarred
never to see you again
As I make my home in the weed bed,
you make yours amongst the clouds,
a perfect home for an angel.
Mine a perfect home for me,
an oddly persistent weed

Reviews

[Bryän]

Splendid piece. This in itself read as a narrative, but one that still retained that appeal to not only the mind's eye but also the mind's ear. Your work here is a good example of how a wholly isolated incident is representative of a common vexation among us all; how we feel towards that which we find to be unattainable, despite whatever efforts we make.
Also, I the term "persistent weed" fascinated me, even if it's relatively straightforward (at least in my eyes). We all have "persistent weed" in our lives, I believe. That we bear flaws in us that may appear slight at first, but become garish should they be ignored.
Well done.

[InternalNirvana]

Amazing poetry, with such wonderful metaphors. I love the separation you put between the earth bound weed and the carefree dove, allowed to roam the sky. Well done.