The day I died

The day that I died

Was the day I died inside

I died in Texas that day

You got what you wanted

You got the husband

the baby, the dog

All things we talked about with such passion and want

I did not know that you were cutting pieces of me off to make yourself whole

Amid the laughter and joy was sorrow brewing.

You have the sharpest tongue I have ever known

Like bees to honey I was drawn to you

Those words hurt worse than anything I could have imagined

I came for the honey and got your stinger instead

You built me up to watch me fall

Collecting my pieces for your collection

To fill the voids inside you

But you never asked

I watched you blossom

You were radiant

One call is all it took.

One sentence.

The false tears.

The lies.

Acting the victim.

He didn't push you into your bed, you pushed him.

Its easy to say its for the best

When you wanted more while you leave me with less

Something you had to do, you said

Had to know where it would go

20 years.

20 F*****g years.

Down the drain like S**t.

To go form such love to fiery hate

I lay awake broken, while you sleep so soundly

While you dream of things so joyful

I am haunted by the ghost of you

I see your face everywhere

Everything reminds me of you

I cant help but wonder if I cross your mind from time to time

I wonder if you regret what you did

I wonder if you feel any guilt

I hope so

But the worst

The absolute worst

I wonder if you're happy

I wonder if you're content

Those thoughts hurt the worst of all

Despite everything

Despite the hurt, the betrayal, the lies, the false tears

The fact I still care hurts the worst of all

Everyday I die a little more inside

I owe it all to you

Those pieces I will never get back

Those pieces that would make me whole

Are no longer mine

I will forever hate you for stealing from me

Stealing my love

Stealing my care

Stealing my joy

All I can say is F**k you

F**k you for using me like that

F**k you for asking me to try and understand

F**k you for lying to me

F**k you for ruining our friendship of 20 years

F**k you for using the name we picked for your son

F**k you for throwing me away after you were fine

F**k you for the false tears trying to get me to stay

F**k you for expecting me to be a backup in case it did not work out

F**k you for not even being slightly remorseful

F**k you for the manipulation

But most of all

F**k you for ever saying you loved me

Front Porch Step said it best, 

How dare you say you miss me with your spit still on his tongue

I cannot forgive you

But I miss you

I miss who you used to be

I guess in a way

That was the day you died too.

Reviews

[Ashley Croft]

The firey tone of this poem clearly shows this is drawn from life. Such strong feelings