Ten Foods You Should Never Eat While Driving

A list of food's I made one day when I was trying to eat Chinese food and drive at the same time.

Ten Foods You Should Never Eat While Driving

A List by Walker Andreasen

 

#1 Chinese Food w/ chopsticks

Reasoning: Have you ever tried it? Yeah, didn’t think so. Don’t try it.

 

#2 Chinese Food (Regardless of utensil situation)

 Reason: If you’re eating it from the little cartons or from the Styrofoam trays, it’s a pain to keep those flaps or the lid out of the way to eat.

 

#3 Pie

Reason: Pie is like liquid cake. Unless you have a straw, do not attempt to eat while driving.

 

#4 Anything with an extensive amount of sauce

Reason: It gets EVERYWHERE.

 

#5 Salad

Reason: Salad should not be eaten anyways. No one needs crunchy water. Water is fine in a liquid state.

 

#6 Spaghetti

Reason: Delicious- yes.  Messy-extensively.

 

 

 

#7 Steak

Reason: If you eat steak while driving I will personally end you. You should respect steak enough to know it deserves time and patience to eat as well as your complete and utter attention.

 

#8 Mashed Potatoes

Reason: You might get distracted from your driving from laughing because it’s super funny to squish the potatoes between your teeth.

 

#9 Biscuits and Gravy

Reason: Just like steak, this deserves respect and I will end you if do not provide it.

 

#10 String Cheese

Reason: VERY distracting trying to peel off the largest (or smallest) piece at a time. Then again if you’re a man like me you wouldn’t peel it apart gently and carefully, you’ll just bite the stupid thing intentionally defeating its purpose. More power to you, brother. 

Reviews

[Pi Cee]

My favorite is #5.

[Dean Kuch®]

Witty, hilarious and oh, so very true, piece here, singed with sarcasm. It made me laugh out loud. I have probably done at least 6 of these things myself. I can't tell you which ones...you might end me, lol!
Funny stuff!

[Walker Andreasen]

Haha only if I can find you!

[Jon Settle]

This was.... The most hilarious thing I've read in FOREVER!!! Made my night soooo much better! :)

[Walker Andreasen]

Glad to hear it :]

[only613]

lol... funnest line: Unless you have a straw...

[floopes]

Kept me laughing the whole way through. Good job!

[Walker Andreasen]

Hey if you loved this then you should check out my 3 other essays: Why Zombie Movies Are Worse Than They Already Are; The Difference in Problem Solving Between Men and Women; and My Future as a Bachelor

[floopes]

Will do man keep up the great work!

[KennaLovesJake]

Haha! This was quite funny. :) Although, I'm not a big fan of biscuits and gravy, but I love steak. :p

[Jordan Easley]

Funny. Not really much of a story but its kinda cool.

[Walker Andreasen]

Well they didn't have a list section so I put it where I could.

[Jordan Easley]

Yeah. I know what you mean. They really should add new sections to the site.

[Walker Andreasen]

I concur. Here Here! *pounds table*