Why Dihydrogen Monoxide Should Be Banned!

Wrote this just for a contest.

I believe we should BAN the chemical dihydrogen monoxide. Why might you ask? Well first off, dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills around 3.4 MILLION people every year. Now true, most of these deaths ARE caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO (dihydrogen monoxide), but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. In it's solid form, prolonged exposure can cause severe tissue damage. Solid DHMO exposure causes limited blood flow to the exposed area after a certain amount of time, depending on the person. Left untreated, the area exposed to solid DHMO will kill the skin and muscle tissue, due to the limeted blood flow which will cease after a few hours, and in most cases the extremity will be amputated. Ingesting DHMO in its liquid state can be even worse. Symptoms include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death. 

Dihydrogen monoxide:

- is also known as hydroxl acid; the major component of acid rain.

- contributes to the "greenhouse effect."

- can cause severe burns in both liquid and gaseous states.

- contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.

- accelerates corrosion and oxidation of most metals.

- may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes and engines.

- has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions! 

The sad thing though is that vast quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. It's also found in our water lines that bring the water directly to our faucet. We bathe in it everyday. Our children play in it. We drink it, cook with it, and NO filter can filter it out. But the pollution is global, and increases everyday! The contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the world, and it won't stop unless we do something about it! 

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

- as an industrial solvent and coolant.

- in nuclear power plants.

- in the production of styrofoam.

- as a fire retardant.

- in many forms of cruel animal research.

- in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.

- as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and most food products and manufactured beverages.
Companies and people dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and storm drains, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer! 

The American government continues to refuse to ban the production, distribution, or any use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the Navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar weapons and devices to control and utilize it during warfare. The military is even submerging their own personnel in it for testing purposes. Thousands of tons of DHMO is delivered to military installations EVERYDAY through sophisticated underground pipelines and most of it is either stored or dumped back into the environment.

DHMO NEEDS TO BE STOPPED! But can it? Additional information can be found here:

http://www.dhmo.org/

Author's Note

All information gathered from http://www.dhmo.org/

Reviews

[ogirhsog]

Ha, ha. Very funny. I wonder how many people have actually fallen for this prank.