I Was Curious

A Poem by Rebekah Smith

Venting out the last bits.

She was 37
Rediscovered being pregnant
When there were two already calling for her love,
And a few waiting for her up above.
Did you walk around with slippers on
Your flattened feet, just thinking of
What this child would mean?
You're a bruised and battered queen
Drinking too many cups of tea
And I love you.
The hair atop your head
Could've been blonder then
And it makes me wonder

Why did you become a mother?
Your scars weren't even healed.
Now filled with the child of another,
You realise that this is real.
I can't judge your decisions,
And I don't want to try
All I want from you
Is to understand - why?

She's now 57
With two less to depend on
And a history that's filled with black & red,
Wish it could be happiness instead.
I couldn't make your heart okay,
Or rub marks of the past away
Just say you don't hate me.
Is there a way to make you see...
Repay the debt you owe to me -
But I still love you!
Remember I'm still here
I cannot just disappear
And I wonder

Why did you become a mother?
Your scars weren't even healed.
Lost one child after another,
Refused to believe it was real.
I can't understand your decisions;
You refuse to let me try.
So I want nothing from you...
Please just live a happy life.

© 2017 Rebekah Smith

Author's Note

I'd love to know how this makes you feel.

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Reviews

Paul Bell

Sometimes it's just hard to get into someones mind.
But i suppose if someone led you on a journey of their mistakes. They might hope you wouldn't do the same.
So in a way, you're the person you are today because of her.

Posted 7 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

7 Years Ago

So insightful...we are a product of our lives & experiences, both good AND bad. Hate is clingy and h.. read more

Silver

it made me feel like this is the most beautiful writing I read for a long time , Just beautiful , deep , emotional , powerful

I truly want to know more