Last Stand: Chapter One: "Sacrifice"

This Chapter tells the story of coalition of American and Israeli soldiers taking a stand against Palestine and combatants against them. This takes place in the near future.

Chapter I

“Sacrifice”

“Last stand. Hold the line here men.” Echoed the words of our commander in our hand radios. I fired my M-16 assault rifle trying to hold off the advancing enemy forces. I slouched down behind cover to load a new mag just as a bullet tore through the guy next to me. He fell to the ground, a gaping red hole where his eye used to be. I peered up above the wall and fired my weapon, taking down several men. The guy to my left fired his weapon as well, screaming as he pulled the trigger. A rocket whizzed past my head. The small market place behind us had over a hundred people still taking cover behind its thin walls. Our job was to hold the line at all cost so these people could escape. The wall I was behind chipped and shattered as the bullets pounded it. Grenades exploded and rockets flew everywhere.

An enemy combatant jumped the wall like a sprinter jumping hurdles and started firing his weapon. I drew my handgun from its chest rig and shot him in the side of the face, the shoulder, and the neck. The man's weapon hit the ground and he stopped shooting. I re-holstered my handgun and I fired my M-16 once more, again taking out a few more combatants and peppering the small building they were hiding in. Sergeant Evan Kade, one of my friends from back home, fired his M249 S.A.W. LMG into the advancing combatants. A round slammed into him, knocking him down. “Kade!” I yelled. He stood back up and started firing again. Then another round hit him and another, the final one tore through his neck, ripping through his trachea, esophagus, and spine as the bullet wobbled, tumbled, and smashed its way through him at 900 meters per second. He had bullets in his chest and neck and I knew I couldn’t save him. His lifeless body released its grip on the machine gun, and he fell like a lumbering giant to the ground, hitting it with a thud. I pulled a grenade from his grenade pouch and ripped the pin out. I threw the grenade toward a combatant. He bent down and picked it up. The grenade detonated in his hand, tearing his hand and arm off and ripping the flesh off the side of his face. He fell down in a pool of his blood.

I looked over as a soldier ripped his knife out of one of my comrades and started toward me. I pulled up my rifle and pulled the trigger. “CLICK.” ‘Damnit’ I thought. I deflected his punch and hit him in the face. Using my free hand I ripped my knife out from its holster. I felt his knife blade glide across my arm slicing it open. My vision went completely clear and my mind zoomed in on the combatant and myself. I rammed the steel pointed KA-BAR knife into the side of his neck. I felt his warm blood spray onto my forearm and hand. I then reached forward and grabbed his handgun. Without even thinking I pulled the trigger, firing into his face. Bright red blood sprayed everywhere and coated the pistol and my hand. I whipped blood off my face and then threw the handgun onto the ground. The man, now dead and covered in his own blood, lay motionless on the ground.

I reloaded my M-16 and started firing again, spraying into the rows of combatants, hiding and attacking our forces. I felt something rip into my fore arm. I didn’t look I just kept firing. I stood on empty mags and lots of empty brass.

I slouched down behind the wall to reload again as a Venom with Israeli reinforcements hovered up above us. Its mini-guns firing away shredding enemy soldiers. The Israelis fast-roped down from the chopper and began firing. As the Venom started to ascend an RPG slammed into the side of the Helicopter. The Venom went into a violent corkscrew and slammed into the side of the small building near it. Fire began consuming the twisted metal of the chopper. I watched in horror as an Israeli pilot violently kicked and beat the door open and exited the flaming chopper. Flames clung to his flight suit and were melting his flight helmet.  He pulled out his pistol and unloaded a mag on several enemy combatants before his flaming body hit the ground. Several seconds later the chopper exploded sending streaks of flames across the area. People screamed and men called out enemy positions . The Israelis lined up with us and continued to hold back the Palestinians and other advancing combatants. I clicked another magazine into place and switched over to semi-automatic to conserve what remaining ammunition I had. I shot, double tapping each enemy.

I slumped down behind the wall again to take cover. I looked back and saw several groups of civilians being loaded into Transport choppers and troop transport trucks to get out of the Market place and back to Gaza.

I had just turned around when a large explosion shook the earth. I looked back and saw one of the massive troop transport trucks in flames.

“Alpha squad on me.” I yelled. Six men, including myself, fell in and started running with me to the other side of the market place to try and help. We made it to the burning truck but there was nothing we could do. Everyone was dead. Several Palestinians rushed out from behind rubble. I fired my weapon killing several, and the remaining squad mates killed the rest. I radioed the Israeli commander. “We are surrounded sir.” I explained.

“Everyone fall back to the failsafe point. We will hold it here at all costs. These civilians must survive, even if we do not...” His voice trailed off but everyone understood. We all fell back to within thirty meters of the civilians position.
“Hold it here everyone.” I said into the radio.

We took our spots, muttered our final goodbyes and loaded our weapons and prepared to stand against the militants one last time. “Lord, even though I walk in the shadow of the valley of death, I fear no evil for thou art with me” I assured myself. I clicked a new magazine in my weapon and hunkered down behind cover. The brief silence in the air broke as over one thousand Palestinians yelled and charged the lines. ‘This is it’ I said to myself. ‘We live and die in this moment, we will save these people.’ I aimed down the sights and started firing my weapon. ‘If the ultimate sacrifice is what it takes then let it not be in vain....’

Author's Note

Ignore grammar please. Also please tell me what you think of the details: too much or too little. Thank you and I hope you enjoy.

Reviews

[Austin Jolly]

This was a rather interesting read...but it did lack some details, like, how did the allied forces get into the area they are defending? What US Military Branch is fighting the enemy, and where? Who is the enemy? Who is the main character?

I also saw some small misconceptions with the way a soldier operates, and how I read it in paragraph 2, sentence 2, how the soldier drew his handgun from its chest rig and shot the enemy jumping over the wall in 3 different places, rather than using his bayonet, as mentioned later in the chapter, to kill his opponent.

Theres also some imagery that is missing from the chapter, and imagery is vital to a writer because is gives the reader some idea as to what exactly is happening to the main character, and allows the reader to imagine themselves in the same situation and environment in the exact words and description as the character is in.

I'm a HUGE Military fanatic (and very proud of it), so the things that were listed above are some of the things that I look for when someone writes a piece of Military writing. I know that not everyone knows as much as I do, so I like to help them out with these kinda of things.

Overall, put in some extra details, and imagery into this chapter, and I think you'll have a great chapter to start your book with! Feel absolutely free to refer to my book "I will survive" and see what kind of ideas you can come up with that!

Semper Fidelis