Bribed Happiness

I'm still awake..

 

 

 

Bribed Happiness

 

 

 

Not even this night, which had ended unbearably slowly, permitted me to sleep.

 

 

I call You by the names You had given Yourself; the Gracious, Merciful, and the All-hearing, whom I rarely plead.

 

I am not asleep still and I wish You would spare more room for this humble prayer.

 

All I ask is to be safe from the shunned dread that crawls from behind my jacket hanger and towards my bed, where Iie paralyzed. I sweat and I quiver in vain, for the dream often ends only when fear had saturated me with faulty thoughts, and more bribed happiness.

 

I kneel to You thirsting for and believing in Your Kindness; for if You are not kind, this circle of self-contempt will never break or cease to be. I have honestly exploited and made ill-use of your gifted signs, and now I see myself sinking in a glass of water, and I cannot speak my mind without coughing complaints or averting to absurdities.

 

Behold your creation, and teach me patiently.

 

How can one make what has broken heart-soothing again and shielded from arrogance?

 

 

Reviews

[Emily B]

amen

[TL Boehm]

Behold your creation, and teach me patiently.
It is in the small moments of madness - the quiet hurtling through our heads and the monsters hovering ever closer - the cloistered silence of our own souls that we cry out with hand over mouth - cringing at the sound of our own plaintive call. When we are transparent, asking the question and terrified of the answer. I found this piece resonant and I have been there in that room so many times.

[Barbara Walker]

A lament of one yearning for healing in all aspects. "...and I cannot speak my mind without coughing complaints or averting absurdities." Love that line! Your intent is clear, great use of imagery. Diction and syntax is very good. I enjoyed reading this.