The Discovery of Doughnuts: Part I

I want YOU to read this.

 

 

 

 

The Discovery of Doughnuts:

Part I

 

 

 

 

   Unlike my sister who could maintain a perfect poker-face even while being hit with a hammer on the head, I on the other hand am a very obvious person and you could see my face twitch and change with the change of circumstances. And if I try to hide it with a smile you'd probably mistake me for Jigsaw's puppet.

 

Plus whenever I have a headache, stomachache or any 'ache' words I keep whining. Not pleasant.

 

   So with the headache going on and not-so-well performance on my last exam, my subconscious designed a few plans for gloomy poetry, and melancholic piano improvisations.

 

   This morning I woke up a little bit earlier and I had a mild coffee and a Dunkin' Donut. The round pastry one with sugar powder on top, and strawberry jam in the core. Yum.

  

  And since my 'time of the month' was late, I kinda over-indulged in dessert consumption. I'd tear open a heat-melted chocolate bar and I savor the flavor with my eyes closed, only to look again at a blank silver cover. I swear it was just gone. Like magic.

 

  And speaking of Dunkin' Donuts, I just remembered the kind of logo they include on the box lid beneath the colorful brand name, 'Discover great coffee at Dunkin Donuts'.

 

  They make it sound almost as if there's a ship waiting for you at a non-existent dock by the bakery. From there you would sail on marvelous donutty adventures when they could have simply written: 'Buy our coffee that tastes good.' or something. I bet it doesn't even taste that special. You may disagree though, since I've never tried it at Dunkin.

 

One last thing that immensely affected my mood and mental health was watching idle mainstream media. Like FX TV.

 

It was only after 'Family Guy' was over that my sister and I finally exchanged glances and agreed on: "What the f**k did we just watch?"

 

I admit, Louise and the little guy with the somehow 'British' accent are funny, but all in all, the show is just bad for you. It's unhealthy, I promise.

 

I would have wasted less time and brain cells if I'd watched 'Dora the Explorer' instead. "We need YOUR help to stop Swiper."

 

But I'm feeling much better now that I've seen the afternoon re-run for 'The Karate Kid' starring Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith. I love this kid. He's like a miniature carbon copy of Will the father, isn’t he?

 

Alright, now that the chemical balance in my brain has been restored, I can safely begin discussing my main topic.

 

   Every now and then we hear about conflicts between far away and neighboring nations and even more recently, it seems that U.S.A relevant terms are somehow associated with these foreign conflicts.

American troops are practically scattered everywhere, especially near or around the arcs of instability (Africa and the Middle East); defending, intervening or deciding the most suitable resolutions.

 

It's like hearing about a fight between your two brothers that is suddenly being suspended by someone who just hopped over the backyard hedge in an astronaut suit. And no, he's not the kindhearted Ned Flanders next door.

 

YOU: So what happened? Did they make up?

 

YOUR MOM: Oh, they'll be fine, more or less, now that your father's uncle's wife's brother's stepdad's son has interfered. He's such a sweetheart.

 

YOU: Who.

 

   Dough Bandow, senior fellow at the Cato institute, and the author of Foreign Follies: America's New Global Empire mentioned in one of his articles that the U.S military 'expenditures' despite the hazardous debts lumbering on the government's shoulders are the result of 'promiscuous intervention'.

 

  Now some of you up-to-date readers may already be aware, others may disagree with Bandow, and some others might find this commentary a piece of haven that has been written especially to agree with their preconceived suspicions. I can imagine the looks on their faces as soon as the realization hits home:

 

Middle Eastern YOU: Conspiracy theories were real. I have never felt so right in my life. I'm so gonna send this to-

 

American YOU: Holly cow, so that's where all our money's going!

 

European YOU: Oh, my word! Why did I ever consider the Middle East as a leisure destination for the summer?

 

Well, on my part, I must let you know that concerning Dough Bandow's earlier description, I beg to differ.

 

   And once we take a closer deeper view at some facts, I hope that I will have refreshed your sense of knowledge, and I hope that I will have let you seen, through a few examples, the greater good in the U.S military involvement worldwide.

 

 

 

Pakistan

 

   So other than automatically assuming that Indian immigrants in the United States are grocery store owners they are also often confused with the peoples of their neighboring state. And while there are many similarities between the two cultures, since historically, they did once exist under a single flag, the differences are even more distinct.

 

  India, we've been accurately taught, is the land of Taj Mahal, high mortality rates partially caused by diarrhea, and the Bollywood films we love and remember in which the romantic hero gets stabbed, shot, and strongly poisoned all at once, but still doesn't die right away.

 

  Pakistan, on the other hand, we know as the desert seemingly impossible to live in; no cities, paved streets or the internet --except through mysterious telephone wires extending from the PCs in the tents and into the wasteland-- and the final hiding place of Osama Binladin, whom Maz Jubrani, the Iranian-American comedian referred to as the last kid you would have wanted to invite to your game of hide and seek, since it would take around six years to find him.

 

  And speaking of that, since the head of Al-Qaeda had been captured, the Afghani-Pakistani quarrels have cooled. Infact, lately, the two states have been cooperating to figure out solutions for their common troubles, and Taliban has not been active for a while. Why are U.S troops still operating in Pakistan?

 

  This goes way back and before the events of September 11. The U.S government had been providing Pakistan with economic assistance and military aid between the late 1940s and 2010. American troops have been permitted to operate on Pakistani soil, according to former About.com guide Pierre Tristam, 'since the beginning of the war in neighboring Afghanistan.'

 

  However, the Pakistanis, particularly their respected military would understand the reliance on foreign shields as a failure to protect their own sovereignty; especially that this shield is the United States and no other, for whom Pakistanis are not exactly encouraged to unroll red carpets; pfft, silly Asian people, holding grudges for reasons like drone attacks. I mean even if the U.S airforce guns down a dozen of kids and their grandpa, it was actually that Taliban Jihadist they were after.

 

"Oh, shoot. Err, Houston, we have a problem."

 

"Just tell them you're sorry or something."

 

Hence, 'both Pakistan and the United States have played a double game' of denial 'since 2001.'

 

You know, this creates an interesting situation:

 

PAKISTANI PATRIOT (Southeastern accent): My friend, I smell an American near by. It's dragging my mood down.

 

PAKISTANI SOLDIER: No, no, it must be your imagination, Adel. No Americans here. Hark! A bird that sings and flies!

 

PAKISTANI PATRIOT: You must be joking. Where?

 

AMERICAN SOLDIER (disguised in a chemise and a turban)

and PAKISTANI SOLDIER secretly high-five each other.

 

  When you kind of zoom into it from this perspective, and even though I've never served in the military, I can actually tell, this is not simply about defending Pakistani sovereignty or welfare; the exotic costumes, the tension, and the sneaking about. It's fun.

 

To be VERY continued.

 

 

Author's Note

*Image: Neelam Valley (Pakistan) is a 144 km long bow-shaped valley in Azad Kashmir Region. The Valley is situated at the North & North-East of Muzaffarabad (The Capital of Azad Kashmir). Running through the Lesser Himalaya, the Neelam River valley has excellent scenic beauty, panoramic views, towering hills on both sides of the noisy Neelum river, lush green forests, enchanting streams and attractive surroundings make the valley a dream come true.

Thank you for reading, and any corrections, comments, negative or positive are all welcome. I will post my links and information resources soon.

Reviews

[Time Crosser]

Just brilliant! I commend you. It is no surprise that many always find your work to be delightful.

[TL Boehm]

what I loved about this was the stream of consciousness effect - this is very much how my mind works - rambling off then honing in on the real topic. Well done.

[Astro]

Well my friend I commend you on your attempt to sift through propaganda and media bias and try and find some reason for the "wars" going on, and in a creative sort of collage of international clips. Whether or not I believe or doubt that reasoning is beside the point. I can see that you have a good ability to use satire as a literary style as well. If these are the types of topics you are going to write about, you will need a sense of humor. Some of your sentences are a little sloppy and can be cleaned up, here is an example:
" Unlike my sister who could maintain a perfect poker-face even while being hit with a hammer on the head, I on the other hand am a very obvious person and you could see my face twitch and change with the change of circumstances. "
You could say the same thing more clearly like this, "My sister could maintain a poker-face even while being hit over the head with a hammer, unlike myself who's face changes and twitches in response to every situation."

Both examples are long sentences but the flow of the latter is clearer. Another example of confusing sentences and incomplete sentences is this one, "Plus whenever I have a headache, stomachache or any 'ache' words I keep whining. Not pleasant." To the reader it is unclear what you are trying to say. One moment you are talking about looking like a Puppet, the next talking about ache's and whining. Then the incomplete sentence, "Not pleasant." (I know you later go on to talk about it being "that time of the month" but it just isn't clear at that point how it fits with the earlier paragraph. If you are furthering the description of the main character that is o.k. but these lines and the ones after them don't seem to have much bearing on the rest of the story. ie. Bad poker-face, whining over aches, poor exam results, gloomy poetry, piano compositions. Perhaps if you make it into a story, like later on when you talk about having a coffee and doughnut then, expand on the attraction to sweets and so on and so forth. This is an example suggestion: "The only thing I can find comfort in this morning is the coffee and jelly-filled and sugar covered doughnut in front of me. I still haven't gotten over the failing grade I got on the exam I wrote yesterday, I'm late on my period, I've got a splitting headache and a few other kinds of aches. Unlike my sister who can keep her poker-face even if she were being hit on the head with a hammer, I can't stop my face from twitching or changing expression based on my circumstance. When I do, I look like the puppet in the 'Saw' movies eerie and twisted. I'm I bit of a whiner, I guess that's why I find myself writing gloomy poetry and composing sad songs on the piano this morning."

Hope this helps some, I don't pretend to be the greatest writer and all this is just critique and suggestion.
So, keep up the great creative way of flashbacks and vignettes to highlight your satirical writing style it's very interesting.

[Coyote Poetry]

I will come back later and read when the house is quiet. You danced on many subjects. I believe if the USA get involved in another conflict. Draft will be brought back. You wrote on a few serious subject. Hard to tell friends from enemies. You have opportunity to go in many direction with the story. A excellent opening chapter. Left a lot of open doors for the next chapter.
Coyote