Edna Crowbar

A wolf that has fire powers is very injured and has many scars. She tells you the stoy of how she got them

Disclaimer: Blood death and injury in this story. Some content may be disturbing. Do not read if you do not like blood injury or death in a story. Thank you enjoy!

Because I was born with fire power they wanted to test

on me. There were so many unanswered questions

that even I didn’t have the answer to. Why was I the

only wolf with four tails? Why did I have fire powers?

How is it I could turn partly human. Why don’t I have

pupils but I can still see?

When I was just a pup my mom told me to fight for

what I believe in. To defend and be on guard. Two

weeks later she was shot. Right in front of my eyes

these people skinned her for her gorgeous fur and

walked off. Just being a pup I was terrified and it took

me a while to cope with it. However I use the anger I

have to help me defend.

I only lived with my dad after that horrible turn of

events. He trained me to be the best after my mom

died. He taught me how to climb the steepest

mountains, keep my teeth in lock mode, claw deep and

never let go until necessary, be sneaky while hunting,

Crawl through the smallest of places and so much

more.

After I got older dad thought it was time to leave me.

He felt that I was ready to be on my own. Right after

he left we found out I was being spied on by humans.

Obviously because I was a very unusual wolf. Not

even my parents would tell me why I was different.

The humans took me and my father away. They

chained us up in this dark room underground. Yes I

could talk but I didn’t want to. The humans tried to get

me to talk. They even hurt my dad as a strategy. No

words came out of my mouth. All I did was growl.

Every time I didn’t answer they punched me dad. Or

they whipped him with a chain. Or even cut his leg. My

dad smiled at me because he knew I wasn’t going to

sell out to these monsters. He knew I was taking

moms lessons to good mind. The humans tightened

our chains and left the room.

When I was sleeping a bunch of rats gathered around

me and started chomping on my front right leg. I was

passed out for at least an hour. By that time the rats

were down to my bone. A fourth of my front leg was

just bone. When I woke up the rats scattered away. I

couldn’t believe I was being part of a meal for them.

I was bored as all can be so I began to look around. It

seemed like my dad was resting off the pain. I looked

to the right and saw a red object. I wondered what it

was. When I got a little closer it looked like a wolf pelt.

As I looked closer I realized it was my moms. I knew it

because of the face area. It had three neon orange

dots only my mother had.

I was filled with so much rage. That was my mom! As if

that memory from my childhood wasn’t enough. I blew

fire on the chains until they broke off. When they broke

an alarm sounded. A big husky came out and was

prepared to fight me. I used my anger to target the

dog.

I hunched up my back lifted all my tails growled and

charged. The dog scratched me eye. I dug my claws

into the their neck as did they. The german shepherd

let go and bit my butt. The grip was so strong. It

continued to claw me. My right ankle was the target for

their claws.

I wacked it with my four tails and blew fire in its face

throwing the dog off balance. I ran towards my dad. I

said to him, “Dad wake up please we have to get out of

here. Dad?? DAD!!!!” I had to except he wasn’t going

to make it but I couldn’t just leave him there for the

humans to have. So I blew fire on the chains and put

him on my back.

The dog latched onto on of my tails. Instead of fighting

I jumped because I was too sad. The dog had such a

hard grip it took a chunk out of my tail. I started to run.

In the distance was a girl. She said to me, “ I hate

working for those people. You look terrible. I am so

sorry about your dad. Here let me patch your ankle up

and give you something to protect the other one.” After

she helped she gave me a rose charm necklace. She

told me to take it to remember as a sorry gift.

Now I fight hard and keep my guard up. The past is

tragic but we must get through it. It is the pain that we

learn from. And when we learn we get stronger. The

necklace helps me remember that. That and the body

damage. I love you mom and dad thank you so much

for your lessons.

If you’re wondering where my dad ended up I put him

in a river nearby and let him drift into the ocean. That

is before a bunch of eagles come and started eating

his body. Oh well I tried. It was better than leaving him

to get skinned by those horrible humans.

Author's Note

I don't know If I will be continuing the story of Edna Crowbar but Let me know what you think. Thank you :)

Reviews

[David Jae]

You've tried really hard, here. Perhaps too hard. You've put a lot of emotion and angst it, but it's seen from outside, which takes away it's power. It would have been better written from the present tense, not past. Also, there's a lot of action, but not much emotion. Focus less on what she does and more on how she feels, showing this through her actions.

E.G.

"I strained against the chains as the whip struck Dad's back, my claws scrabbling on the stone floor as I lunged towards him. If I could, I would have torn his throat out..."

See how the descriptions of her actions reveal her emotions without stating them.

I like your characters and setting, as well as the direction that your story is going. That is the real skill in writing. Everything else is just a matter of refinement. I see a lot of potential here and I'm excited to see what you will do in the future.

Good job.