How Would You Like/How Are We

How Would You Like/How Are We

A Poem by William Arthur

The difference between the ideal and the actuality of the situation...




How do you want to get to Aldi?

Magic carpet--no!--jet pack!

No really?

Unicorn back--or--or a slide made of rainbows!

Could you just tell me how you'd like to get there!

On a tide of Tory tears--on a cobbled path made of EDL kneecaps!

Look! How are we going to get there? We're going to be late!

Oh!--how are we…?--you asked me how I wanted to--how are we?--probably the 52 bus

--or we could skip--

© 2015 William Arthur

Author's Note

William Arthur
The formatting doesn't recognise M-dashes so "--" will have to suffice...
For the non-Brits:
Tory = slang word for the Conservative Party, the mainstream right-wing party in the UK.
EDL = English Defence League, a neo-Nazi organisation in Britain.

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Formatting does recognize (see the "z". i'm non-British) the m-dash, but it sometimes (inexplicably) turns them into a "?". So stick to the double dash.

Yes, the difference between "how you want to" and "how will you". Very correct and very amusing. Damn it, we have to take the 52 bus.

Enjoyed it. Thanks.

Best regards,


Posted 9 Years Ago

How delightful life would be if we could have what we want! But, perhaps we would become extremely jaded in no time at all and delight would be off the menu for good. Better take the 52 bus instead.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Short but clever. Thanks for sharing! Have a nice day.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Very creative and witty! I enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

Posted 9 Years Ago

I imagine the protagonist in this got a smack round the chops for this - lol
A superb piece of contemporary satire my friend.
LMAO @ EDL kneecapped-cobbled streets !

Full of wit and sarcasm and pure unadulterated humour (or we could skip - lol) -

have you ever watched Michael MacIntyre's skipping routine - I dont normally watch him but skipping is funny

Posted 9 Years Ago

William Arthur

9 Years Ago

Hehe yes I have watched that sketch, MM is great in small doses...

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5 Reviews
Added on February 28, 2015
Last Updated on March 15, 2015


William Arthur
William Arthur

Sheffield, South Yorkshire, United Kingdom

I am doing an MA in Creative Writing at The University of Sheffield (as f*****g self indulgent as that is) under the tutelage of Simon Armitage. I am mainly a poet but also write short prose. My favou.. more..


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