What Really Scares Me

A poem about what keeps me awake at night

I'm afraid,

I really am-

wondering which one of us will go mad first?

Will I lose you,

to all the people you've been?

Or will I lose myself,

in the worlds that I've created and seen?

It scares me,

how loosely I hold

on to this tight rope called sanity.

And it unnerves me,

'cause one of us will let go

and plummet into madness and lunacy.

I've always been scared,

of the ticking in my head,

the sound my brain makes as it hits against my skull.

I've always wondered,

is it just biology?

Or time telling me that we're running out-

of time?

Are we running out of time?

Are we running out of space,

and places and people to be?

One day when I look at you,

will it be you looking back at me?

Or just a face,

that once held someone I loved-

someone I learned to embrace?

Or what if?

When you're all alone.

All that's left of me,

is just skin and bone-

and a heart.

One that beats,

but no longer for you-

will I be able to see what is true?

Will I go mad or will it be you?

And what scares me,

above all else,

what scares me,

is the question that I've

been avoiding,

which is who I want to

loose there mind first

and who do I want

to be left alone?