You Beat Me

You Beat Me

A Poem by J. Write


“Let’s play a game,” you said
“What game?” I asked
“Whoever cries first, loses”
“No,” I shook my head
“Come on, one last dance”
I smiled and gave in
You took my hand, and led me to the dance floor
Reluctantly, I followed
Suddenly, we were swinging from side to side
Swinging to the tune of hearts beats
Our blood rushing and  pulse racing
“There’s no music,” I said
You chuckled, pulling me closer as if we weren’t close enough
“Music is you and me ,” you said
I searched your eyes and saw myself in yours " watching you
You stroked my cheek as we stood still
“I love you,” you said
“I love you more”
“Enough to let me go?” you asked
“Why should I let you go?”
“Your world and mine are different now " Let me go,”
Right then,clouds formed in my eyes
As you faded, I came back to my world
“It was a dream,” I murmured. “Or was it?” I sobbed
You beat me

© 2012 J. Write


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Reviews

I really liked this; however, is it bad I found it sort of humorous at the end? I enjoy the little story at the beginning and how the narrator realizes they have been beaten. That is what I found funny by the way; that in the midst of sadness they can still sound like an innocent, child while admitting defeat. Sorry if that was offensive in any way; I did not mean it like that!

Posted 11 Years Ago


I was so moved by this poem. I have quite recently experienced every emotion presented in this work. I must say, you made me feel them all again, but not in a necessarily bad way! Excellent work!

Posted 11 Years Ago


You know how to lay out a power punch of emotions in short writes.. You amaze me.. I love your work..xo

Posted 12 Years Ago


yes like enid said (enid blake what a name!) - this is as a novel but not...it forms a whole with just a part and so my hair off to you...i have no hat :(

Posted 12 Years Ago


J. Write

12 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and for your kind comments...and yes the hair for the hat... I see you:)
This poem is like a novel in a few lines lol. It's intriguing and I love how you wrapped it up with that final line - perfect execution ;)

Posted 12 Years Ago


J. Write

12 Years Ago

Youre so kind, thank you for reading.
speechless just speechless

Posted 12 Years Ago


J. Write

12 Years Ago

Thank you:) Thank you.
nunya

12 Years Ago

your welcome your welcome
This is absolutely Beautiful! You have written a brilliant piece, so unique....it takes my breath away. I have tears in my eyes...amazing!

Posted 12 Years Ago


J. Write

12 Years Ago

THANK YOU:)
"Music is you and me..." beautifully said.
And yes, even when love seems perfect...you never know.

I think you are a male. From the way you write and look at things: from the outside, objectief, as a picture.
I enjoy your writting because is so different from mine.
Thank you for your creativity.
Shandra Sun


Posted 12 Years Ago


J. Write

12 Years Ago

:) Thank you for reading, and for your kinds words.

Male you think? Maybe if you read t.. read more
Loved this. Very well written

Posted 12 Years Ago


J. Write

12 Years Ago

Thank you:)
i love it! I think my hearts broken!

Posted 12 Years Ago


J. Write

12 Years Ago

Thank you :)

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Added on November 6, 2012
Last Updated on November 6, 2012

Author

J. Write
J. Write

London, United Kingdom



About
Well, writing about myself is one of the few things I can't do. I love writing - I guess that's why I'm here. Nature comes second, or maybe not. I think I love nature more than writing--No, I love wri.. more..

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