Lying

It's really easy to lie. It's easy to tell people that you're ok when you're really not. It's easy to fake the smile when inside you feel constant pain. It's easy to lie. Lie to your doctor, the one that can get you on the mess that you know you need. One day, I will get them maybe. I can't though, I can't tell everything to someone I don't really know. I need to stay inside, I haven't gone to school in a week. It's getting easier to lie about how schools going. I know I'm not ok, I know I'm not mentally stable. I know I shouldn't do the stuff that I do and pretend like it doesn't bother me. I know I can quit, but for some reason those seem like lies to myself. Everything I do though, leads to something bigger. I just want to see te ending of this beginning I have started.