The scarring

The marriage ring and what it symbols.

The rings in a marriage are meant as a never ending circle of love. Too many times it circles with emotions that bind hurt, burn and scar the hand….

The glitter catches one’s eye,

The bruises do too.

She ponders the question why,

And dare not ask…

The rings in a marriage are meant as a never ending circle of love. Too many times it circles with emotions that bind hurt, burn and scar the hand….

The circle never ends,

Round and round without seams…

No beginning, no end

The scars hidden lie underneath,

And the love dims….

As the ring still shines,

So very tight and does not bend.

The rings in a marriage are meant as a never ending circle of love. Too many times it circles with emotions that bind hurt, burn and scar the hand….

Author's Note

There's something not quite right and yet... any suggestions?

Reviews

[Relic]

I think you wrote this very well and I would assume from a heart that knows. My only suggestion would be to eliminate the second line:

The rings in a marriage are meant as a never ending circle of love.

The glitter catches one’s eye,
The bruises do too.
She ponders the question why,
And dare not ask…

For too many times it circles with emotions that bind hurt, burn and scar the hand….

The circle never ends,
Round and round without seams…
No beginning, no end
The scars hidden lie underneath,
And the love dims….

As the ring still shines,
So very tight and does not bend.

The rings in a marriage are meant as a never ending circle of love. Too many times it circles with emotions that bind hurt, burn and scar the hand….

Of course this might not be right either, but those lines seem too repetitive to me. Just a suggestion.

Thank you kindly for your review... I am still working on it. I think my problem is.. it seems more like a song than a poem..but thank you for your suggestions..

[Relic]

You're welcome. I would say if everyone likes it (Which the other reviewers seem to) leave it alone for now. You may come up with something later that satisfies you more. :)

thank you very much...

[Chris]

"that bind hurt, burn and scar the hand…." - bind? what to what? singulars - plurals?

Circles are also strength - each point within the circle supports all the others.

Also "symbols" or symbolizes?

yes my friend.... the circle of strenght that keeps the hurt strong

strength is what I meant

[Legacy]

SimplyNisa,

Love the start - borderline may I ad. Teetered on pulling me in. I’m here, intrigued, now excite me.

First stanza sitting up in my chair in anticipation of what’s to come. Repeated line clouds.

Second stanza blends a bit with the first, still you have me waiting for more. Repeated line again.

Left without resolution, a bit more understanding as to what this all adds up to.

Would love to read a sequel to this – please keep me informed if one should arise.

Thanks for the read – Enjoyed Indeed…

Keep on Writing Life - Legacy

thank you kindly for stopping by. The sequel is still to be lived. She is in pause waiting on her own decision and action. Sitting there thinking.. looking at the ring and her thoughts reaching out but not ready yet I suppose.

[Konigin]

hmmmmmmmm...

¨Too many times it circles with emotions that bind hurt, burn and scar the hand….¨ I felt like there was some hiccup here... I feel like ¨it circles with emotions¨ Just doesn't work. It made me think of an animal circling its prey but then you meant that the rings bind these emotions to the hand... So maybe say: ¨Too many times, it binds the circular emotions that hurt, burn, and scar the hand...." Not sure here... But that's what I came up with.

I liked to flow... I loved the idea of this impermeable ring that is just this figure-head while things underneath are in turmoil and disarray.

Wonderful Nisa! :)

Thank you kindly for your review... The ring in a way is the circle of prey.. he circles hers with hurt and afflictions... they do bind the emotions to the hand but it also keeps any hope for anything different at bay.. outside her reach...
Thank you for visiting and commenting it is appreciated..

[Konigin]

You're welcome.

[La Tigresa]

I'm not an expert in poetry so I'm not sure how much help I can be, but I have to say that I liked this poem. It's true how there are so many promises made in a marriage and how it's supposed to be full of love and happiness, and yet our dark sides get in the way and all is not as it seems. Is this about an abusive marriage? I like the repetition, but as for the overall composition I can't really give you a good critique because like I said I know little to nothing about poetry. But overall I like this poem, and I wanted you to know that I liked it. :)

Thank you kindly... for taking the time to read and comment.. Alot of abuse.. can be mental, physical or just the fact one is not true can cause scarring of the heart... Its about marriages that are what they should be.. I believe the reader will connect it to their own individual marriage.. glad that theirs is not like this or grasp the feeling if it is... Thank you again...