~ Midnight Waltz

~ Another Dance by Midnight Moon...

~ Midnight Waltz

 

 

 

There were strange things going to happen

On the early eve of midnight moon,

Voices were heard, footsteps were felt

They lived, in this gorgeous ballroom.

 

His feet moved before hers, so she followed

Silver sound waves, they danced with grace

The dusty air, the marble floor

Hands together, their love--the space.

 

But then their faces slowly changed

Like life could be over, at any time

As darkness fell, between of them

Death called in, but it felt fine.

 

And so just with every midnight moon

They danced their waltz, until the day came in,

While music played from the gramophone

Their love was timeless, without skin.

 

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Reviews

[Ashira Macy]

This one was absolutely fascinating to me. The visualization of the ballroom was immaculate. Grand with only the midnight moon shining in, illuminating the crystals on the chandelier and perfect resonance so that music fills the entire room equally, so they can dance throughout.
And then the couple themselves morphed in my mind at your words, first young and beautiful. As their faces changed I imagined them growing older and wrinkled, still dancing as though hypnotized by the music.
And finally without skin, ghosts, still dancing away every night at midnight to their waltz.

I don't know if that is how you envisioned it, but it was gorgeous. And the rhyme and flow was also flawless.

I can't thank you enough my dear, for this beautiful review, you felt the transience of life so well through my words, yes, this is how I envisioned it, felt it, as a day like today... beautiful words, many hugs! you make me smile! -xx-

[Ashira Macy]

You are very welcome, the story in this was such a gift!

:) I'm so happy to have you by my friend! ((HUGS)) thank you so much.

[Ashira Macy]

The feeling is mutual dear! Hugs back!

[Sugar Plum ♥]

I really admire your perfect style here and verses! Reminds me of an old Romantic scene of two beloved Vampires, who dance together. It`s incredible. I love the way you bring the dance alive and rhythm alive. I feel the whole atmosphere of the ball room, and the two lost souls, who found each other...This waltz is eternal, as it`s much more than life and death. They never can lose each other now, they are out of the cover of body...Wonderful!

:: nour ::

[Alfred Kukitz]

Enchanting and mesmerizing! You are like the moon visiting my imagination.

Thank you for another great comment Alfread, I so appreciate it Sir. :)

* Alfred sorry.... typed too fast.

[Rita L. Sev]

A gentle and ethereal poem; this was a dance that lingered... Beautiful, Elisa.

Aw, thank you Rita, for being here. Glad you enjoyed :)

[Jetta Zippora]

So beautiful and dreamlike. A vivid fantasy in a poem. Well penned, friend. :)

Thank you so so much Jetta, it's good to have you by! -xx-

[Kenneth The Poet]

I see this as a scene from a silent movie.

Thank you Kenneth, again wow... yes, that's indeed an option "YOU" make me think of now, thank you.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

"While music played from the gramophone

Their love was timeless, without skin."~ I am in love with these lines, Sis...

How enchanting it is to be swept away by the midnight moon and the music...
How sad it is to know it will soon end within the daylight hours...sigh...

This resonates the pulse of love and life...
Beautifully penned, Sis!~xoxo~:)

Do you see them? I do, and everytime they dance... I hope to be like this after death. :) (the ole dancer in me)... lol Thank you so much Sis, your words mean the world... -xx- can't wait to be reading you in a while...

[Sophy Freebirds]

Oh wow.. the vivid imagery of the ballroom with thwo lovers dancing in midnight... slowly they age and meet their demise but still their soul haunts the ballroom.. They still dance to the hypnotic rhythm of the midnight moon for rest of eternity.. Your words just come alive.. Giving the reader a charming picture..

~Sophy

Thank you dear one, I'm glad you enjoyed this one, and found it hypnotic. I will come back for you as soon as I can. :) -xx-

[Sophy Freebirds]

You're welcome muchly ;) ★xoxo★

Thank you so much Sophy! means much! -xxx- :)

[realmwriter]

This piece, as are all of yours, is beautifully written. I am confused a bit by the third line in the third stanza. "As darkness fell, just between of them", in perticular the word of. It does'nt seem to fit in the context for which you're using it. I believe I understand what you're trying to do by omitting (the two). I think I would try to reword that line. I'd use the same syllable count to maintain flow. I really do like the piece though. It also reminds me a bit of The Sixth Sense. I can certainly imagine ghosts Waltzing by moonlight, be it in a grand ball room or simply in the courtyard of some royal palace. Wonderful.

Thank you so much D. I really do appreciate it, I was self in doubt about that line, good you bring it up, what would you suggest me? about the theme, did you ever heard of the Dance Macabre by the French composer Camille Saint-Saëns? This was a dance macabre, it's death that's always with us, in Europe, and we never fear it. Your words are so appreciated. I will think that line over, and will consider it to make it better. Thanks for the help so far :)

Thank you very much, I will try to change it, later when I'm home. Thanks for the help my friend. :)

[realmwriter]

I would just omitt the word "just and simply add [the two] before "of", it maintains the syllable count and doesn't change the flow of the piece. Also, as I just noticed; in the second line of the third stanza; instead of using the word "by", I would use the word at. But that's just me.

[Kenneth Nicholas Lowe]

I never felt this way before, since I watched the movie the 6th sense... This is amazingly penned and portrayed... Keep em coming

Thank you Ken, for your words, time, and review, I'm glad you felt it....

[Thea]

Ah, Elisa! The visuals had me nodding and smiling (alone, geez) in astonishment. The last day, I was craving for a poem that has something to do with dancing and wow, this fed my soul and my mind. So beautiful. This made me envision such place where sacred silence resides yet there's that soft music indulging the noiseless air of the area. I totally enjoyed this one.

Oh Thrinna, thank you so much, I can't believe you had the same thoughts, (feelings) maybe I'm so pleased and happy to see you totally enjoyed... :) I will come by over soon for you, ((HUGS))

[Thea]

You're always welcome, Elisa~ /hugs/ ^^

Thank you so much!! again sweet friend ((HUGS)) ^^