Crush Phase

Just the sound of his voice sends me into a crazy haze.

Friends are telling me it's just a simple crush phase.

I know what I feel, I know what he means to me.

But none of you understand, none of you can see.

My heart breaks each day as my love for you increases,

I've been searching all this time for the shattered pieces,

Not one was found until those three forbidden words were spoken,

But by then the unspoken truth just left my heart completely broken.

It's the promises that keep me holding onto the love that's been razed. 

All this time I thought I was crazed, but I was only glazed in the thought of

Being caressed by someone who declared that there was true love.

I sympathize with the situation he's been in,

Something inside me screams with this undying sin.

I blame myself for the crud I've driven him to.

But, goddamn, the way I feel is nothing but true!

The feel of my heart beating against my chest brings tears to my eyes.

I pray one day that he'll realize this is why every piece of me dies.

I love him with everything I have inside of my decaying soul,

Maybe that's the reason I have no more common sense or control. 

He's the feeling I get when I smell the fresh air that brings me life,

The emotions he brings me are rough like cutting rocks with a dull knife. 

He accepts who I am and what I do,

Every painful memory I've been through.

I don't know how he could love me,

Especially when he's not even free. . .

I force myself to suffer because I can't ignore my hearts affection. 

I sense this beautiful connection between both of our imperfections. 

I feel like I'm pointed in the wrong direction looking for an intersection

Between us that'll restart my heart in a correction of my defection. 

I don't understand why love is so hard to cope with,

Maybe it's just another stupid, perplexing myth.

Author's Note

So, obviously, this is about loving a guy but it being complicated and me not knowing how to really deal with it. Yeaaaa.