Mother Nature

Mother Nature

 

She sat gleefully on her pedestal, watching hell freeze over. It was the end of 2010 and she was getting more and more irritable. She’d kept boredom at bay by throwing the odd tremble at LA but they were so often, nobody took any notice. Throwing gas on the sparks of Africa’s troubles only kept her amused for a day or two before it was the same old story. Deciding to give those same dried up people the middle finger, she sent a flood to Greece and their sudden rise of money and crime problems.

She was slowly becoming furious, steam erupting from her ears beneath her snow white hair, her icy existence melting into fury. People were too happy. Oh sure, they sent prayers her way, begging her to stop, but that also became boring after nearing the millionth one. And it wasn’t the same. They were just words. Whatever happened to shoving someone in a volcano as a gift for rain?

She hadn’t slept in months, her fury for under-appreciation buzzing in her skull throughout the night. Her four servants had tried to help her. Air whispered by her side, reassuring her that they at least loved her. Water ran her a soothing bubbling bath to help her sleep. Fire sat crackling next to the TV, while Earth offered a facial.

She happily glanced at the news, finally at peace, with the stories of death and crime sounding like a lullaby to her.

“And now for the weather”

That made her sit up a little straighter. The elements smirked at each other, proud that it was finally working.

She had a whole section of the news to herself! That was something, right? A man in front of a screen talking about nothing but her for a full five minutes...

The elements stopped, wondering where this calm had come from, holding their breath for the storm.

Five minutes?! That’s all she was to the world? A quick catch up then the sport?

The thought had crept up through the months until it finally bellowed at her: “THEY’RE NOT SCARED OF YOU ANYMORE!”

All these little termites with their double glazing and secure roofs, they will feel the wrath of Mother Nature.

Fire was promptly ordered to travel to Italy where he spewed lava across the island of Sicily. The airport and other businesses immediately shut down with people running for shelter.

Water took a trip to Australia where it strolled through towns, destroying homes and trapping people on rooftops. Morons jumped into the water to save dogs, while others enjoyed a beer on their surfboards.

Earth stopped by Brazil where he tumbled gleefully down hillsides, coating homes and business, burying victims in a readymade coffin of muck.

Air twirled and danced through Mexico until roofs were ripped off homes and entire towns were destroyed.

Mother Nature was going to handle Britain herself. The link of all Europe’s countries was the rich, proud and composed people of Britain. Within five minutes their land was coated in snow.

She listened with glee as they ran around like headless chickens, screaming about travelling to work, or an inability to farm any food.

Babies don’t sleep as well as her that night.