The Drive

The Drive

A Story by Writingfox

     Ice blue eyes survey the dark shadowy parking lot in Nederland Texas. They can barely see the highway 69 overpass a fourth mile away. Fog so thick its suffocating is the culprit. Jane grips her car keys tightly, trembling fingers run though long blond hair made stringy by hours of work before. Slightly afraid to make the twenty minute drive home but resolved to do so safely she squares her chin and starts the e,ngine of her tiny Volvo.
     One mile, two, three. The fog gets thicker and thicker wrapping around her and the Volvo. Visibility becomes limited to a half mile ahead as she checks the rear view mirror. She can see nothing but gray mist. The fog has wrapped her up in giant hands, cupping her on all sides. All she can make out are the blurry yellow highway lights looming over head, standing like silent observers, still as death and just as ominous.
     Finally on a straightaway, she begins to breathe easier. Until she remembers what lies ahead. The Rainbow Bridge. Once the tallest in Texas now it served as the only way this side of Beaumont to get to and from home over the Neches River. Her breath catches in her throat as she now realizes the bridge isn't coming up she's already on it. She couldn't even see that. It's hard to believe but the fog has gotten even worse. She slows down by fifteen miles per hour.                                    The normally pleasant rather beautiful drive over the bridge is now terrifying. Visibility is mere feet ahead, behind and on all sides. It's a fortunate thing she is not claustrophobic. Now at the apex of the bridge she can finally begin her decent into the two-lane road that twists through the marsh. 
     Grateful and relieved to be off the bridge, she breathes easier for a few moments. The fog is a bit lighter now. But it isn't really a blessing. Now she can see two lights ahead. Crimson red and horizontal from one another, she knows 'tis merely brake lights but her exhausted mind conjures up two deep red eyes. Staring hungrily. Shiver, blink, it's not a rabid bat. It's not a bloodthirsty monster. It's only lights on a car. Harmless. Right?
     In a moment or two, the fog vanishes as strangely and suddenly as it appeared. The Volvo has finally reached it's tiny hometown. Now friendly yellow and white lights greet the ice blue eyes, welcoming Jane home, beams of light stretching around like an embrace. Home is close, she will make it. As long as more fog doesn't come...

© 2012 Writingfox


Author's Note

Writingfox
Go ahead and critique honestly.

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Featured Review

Woah, I was scared for a moment there! Haha, totally thought she was going to crash - glad she didn't. Anyway, great write! I love all the descriptive language about the fog. :) The only thing I would look at again is the punctuation. e.g. "Now friendly yellow and white lights from now closed businesses welcome her home (*semicolon*) beams of light stretching around like an embrace."
I love it, great job. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love how the tension builds up until it's at it's high, and then it slows down when she gets to her town, but then, with the last it higher than the last high, and it's justs there, so suspenseful. I really enjoyed this story for that reason.

Posted 12 Years Ago


i love this
it had me clinging to every word

Posted 12 Years Ago


Pretty cool. At first, I thought it would be kind of mundane. I have felt this way before. The fog has a way of playing games with our perception.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Woah, I was scared for a moment there! Haha, totally thought she was going to crash - glad she didn't. Anyway, great write! I love all the descriptive language about the fog. :) The only thing I would look at again is the punctuation. e.g. "Now friendly yellow and white lights from now closed businesses welcome her home (*semicolon*) beams of light stretching around like an embrace."
I love it, great job. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 21, 2011
Last Updated on February 9, 2012

Author

Writingfox
Writingfox

TX



About
Christian. Saved. Artistic. Thoughtful. Ponderous. Unique. English lover. Unabashed. Hippie. Fox. Innocent. Funny. Me. more..

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