Her.

The late night thoughts of an introverted, lonely, high school student who has fallen hard for a girl in his creative writing class.

Her

She is so staggeringly beautiful. Every time her eyes make contact with mine I feel the strangest waves of emotion and energy flow through my very essence. She is too fair, she is too kind. I tell myself I am worthy of any woman I choose, but she may be beyond even my own belief in myself. Just her presence is enough to keep me content at this point, she’s the best eye candy. Not only that but she seems like the kind of person who would never cease to amaze me. I don’t know if she has an adventurous side, I know very little about her sadly. What to say to begin a conversation with this goddess. How do I squeeze myself into the masterpiece that is her life? Where does a person like me fit into her world? I’ve never caught her passing a glance my way, and it makes me unsettled that I can’t know every thought she’s ever had about me. To see if I’m even of any significance to this girl. I don’t even know if she has a love interest in her life, because I only see her for at most an hour and a half 4 times a week in the same third story class room. How am I to bring her out of the classroom with me, without seeming desperate, without rushing to tell her just how beautiful I think she really is? If she were here now, in this place I don’t know what I would actually do. Would I keep myself sealed tight? Or would I find that random spark of courage to even speak with her? If I had no fear of rejection, no fear of what beautiful humans like her think of me, I would probably say something like this.

Oh dearest Alice,

Where to even begin with you. You have got to be the most beautiful female I have ever been blessed to see in my bleak lifetime. Your are that sudden hint of light in the dark, that minute warmth that manages to find you in the cold. I look forward to the days I am allowed to gaze upon you. Just sit there watching you be everything that I could ever ask for. Everything about you, your casual and modern style, your provocative body, your contagious smile, your kindness that could only be matched by the sun that kindly rises up for us every single day. Are you her? Are you the girl that I need so badly in my life? Could I open up to you? Would you accept my simple flaws, my strange habits, and my eccentric lifestyle? Would you walk with me under the cover of the thickest of forests, so we could go down by the river in the unconditional sunlight? Would you be into those cheesy things that only couples in romantic movies would say? I may never know, but I must. If I am to ever build that confidence that women like you find so attractive, will it be too late? Will I ever see you after we graduate and begin our real lives?

These questions pain me, because I fear the worst outcomes for the dreams in my head, are the most likely, the most realistic. I wish it didn’t have to be that way. I hurts, not even being able to turn to her social media in my times of desperation just to see her grin, or even to see her in her worst moments. I need some kind of revolution. Some major event that pushes us together so firmly that nothing could ever come between us, not even a single thought. What though? A zombie apocalypse? A shift of consciousness? I wish. I wish that one day you will wake up and be able to see the unconditional love that I have for you. I wish some strange circumstance would bring us to a quiet place. So I could have an appropriate chance to truly speak with you, to let you see the mystic light I hold within waiting to shine on the right girl.

“Girl I just want you to know, I’ve had the river with no flow, I've had the heart with no soul, and then I found you drowned in blue.” "King Krule