S**t Happens

A Story by Ghost Writer

The first time I met Caleb West, I felt attracted to him. Maybe it's the way he made me laugh, or the way he smiles, or his confidence in me and himself, but I'm almost sure it's the way he makes me feel. Whenever I'm with Caleb I feel happy, like I am floating and I feel invincible like I can do anything. I think I may be in love with the boy with red hair, who is just taller than me, who makes me smile everytime he looks at or talks to me, the way he talks to me like I'm special, and his amazing crystal blue eyes.I blush everytime he looks at me, because he looks at me like I'm beautiful, like I'm something important, like I'm wanted. I don't have the guts though, or the right to tell him how I feel he loves another. That's okay though because I'm not one of those girls who only knows how to exist when I am wanted. I just want someone to tell me that I'm beautiful, like I am specal, that I did good.

I know Caleb doesn't want me, I'm not special and I'm most certainly not woth his time. I fell in love with him without knowing it, that's the funny thing about funny guys you fall in love with them without even knowing it. You fall in love with the way they make you feel, the way they make you laugh. Damn just can't get him off my mind, I'm a hopeless romantic, a hopeless person. For some reason, I always find myself wanting things that I know I can't have. I have great friends though, too bad I lie to them a lot. They are currently under the influence that I have a sixteen year old, tattooed, potheaded, and binge drinking boyfriend. I mean the tattoos, him being sixteen, and binge drinking is true, but no the potheaded part he is precious. He isn't a bad guy, i mean he has a slight criminal record for petty theft auto and possesion of a firearm, but I swear he is sweet.

My name is Jesebel, how fitting for a fourteen year old who lost her virginity at thirteen, who is dating a "Juvie", and I drink, but worst of all my mother hates my guts. She is somehow under the influence that I am the reason my father left us, my big brother Christopher tells me it isn't my fault. I believe Christopher I always have, he used to protect me from my fathers blows and when my dad went on his drunk rampages, we used to hide in my closet until he passed out or left to go drink some more. My father left when I was six, yep that means I have lived eight years without my father, no one to protect me from bad boyfriends or bullies or anyone for that matter. Since my father left Christopher has taken double duty as my father and my big brother, always telling me what to do to protect myself for when he wasn't here.

I used to think, that I'd always have my brother with me, but last year I lost Christopher when he died in Iraq I was heart broken I'm still grieving. Nikki has helped me get through my bothers death and my mothers many suicide attempts, he always takes me to his house when my moms new boyfriend starts to rough me up or he stays with me. I remember when I met him when I was fifteen, I was sitting at the skatepark crying and trying to do a new trick I learned. Nikki picked me up off of the groud when I fell,and when he saw that I was crying and it wasn't because of the trick I had just executed he took me in his arms and held me, I let him. When my crying subsided, he asked me what was wrong and I explained to him about Christopher, my mom, and my dad leaving. Nikki sat there and listened the whole time and didn't ask questions until I was done.

"Why?" he asked me looking into my tear rimmed eyes," why don't you leave?"

"I have no where to go," I said wrapping my arms around his neck tighter.

" I could help you," he told me looking at me sincerely. I looked up at him and shook my head slightly before I kissed his lips lightly, then when he kissed me back I deepened the kiss turning myself to be straddling him and he held me closer.

"Wow," I said after I pulled away and sat gazing into his eyes.

"What was that for?" Nikki asked me.

"That was for listening to me and not judging me,"I said nuzzling his neck.

"Maybe I should comfort girls in the park more often," He said leaning into you.

" You can't,"I told him kissing him again.

" Why not?" He asked me looking into my chocolate brown eyes.

" Because I don't like to share and you are mine now," I told him.

" I don't like being shared anyway, I'll be yours and I'll always be here for you and never let you go." Nikki tells me hugging me and kissing the top of my head.

" I don't even know your name, but I feel like I can trust you," I tell him sincerely.

" My name is Nikki, and yu can trust me, because I don't plan on letting anyone or anything hurting you," He says.

"I've got to go home, before my mom starts spazzing out," I told him before picking up myboard and skating home.

" Wait , I don't even know your name, how will I find you?" Nikki asked me as I rolled away.

"I'll find you," I shouted over my shoulder before descending the hill.

When I got home, my mom was livid I swear I could see the hate, burning rage, and concern in her eyes.

"WHERE IN THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? I was worried sick,"my mom tells me, slapping me then wrapping me in a hug.

" Mom I was down at the skate park I was pissed at you, so I went to practice chill," I said prying her arms off of me.

"Down you sass me you selfcentered little b***h," she tells me.

"SINCE WHEN DO YOU CAE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO ME? YOU DIDN'T EVEN CARE WHEN TRENT GAVE ME THIS!," I shouted lifting my shirt to show her my bruised side. " Have you now decided to be a f*****g mother?" I screamed at her before running out the door.

" COME BACK HERE YOU B***H!"she yelled after me, I kept running until I found myself back at the skatepark and I practically jumped Nikki.

"Hey, calm down," Nikki saysto me, trying to talk over my tears." Calm down Love,take a breath and talk to me."

" I can't go home," I say breathlessly, burrying my face in his chest. I wince when he wraps his arms around my waist.

"What is that?" Nikki asked me gently lifting my shirt to see my side.

" My moms boyfriend likes to use me as a punching bag for a drunk passtime," I sob into his shoulder.

"What?" Nikki asks me, gently easing my head off of his chest.

" My name is Jesebel Dominica Carlisle and my brother died in Iraq, my mom is suicidal, and her boyfriend beats me," I tell him, leaning into him.

" Okay, Your name is Jesebel, I'm going to call you Jes. I'm sorry about your brother I lost my sister in Desert storm. My mother is in prison, and I've never known my father. I live with my grandmother Cicelia."Nikki tells me.

" I'm sorry I came back to whine to you,you were probably just fine having the crazy chick out of your life I'll leave now I just needed a shoulder to cry on. I'm sorry I ruined your shirt," I say.

But in the now, Nikki and I have been dating for three months and we are doing great my mom is in rehab and therapy and Trent is no one knows where. I'm sitting in my spanish class right now, staring at Caleb instead of my spanish adverbs and writing in this journal. I feel guilty for thinking of someone other than Nikki the way I am right now, I mean I love Nikki I lost my virginity to him, he always protects me. I don't know why I feel this way about Caleb, I mean he just makes me feel good he makes me happy. For some reason I feel like Nikki and I are drifting apart, I mean he is always at work and i'm always at school or helping Cicelia around the house. By the time Nikki and I are in bed at night we cuddle up to eachother and fall into a dead sleep, I think Nikki is cheating on me.

Caleb just told me that my hair looks beautiful today,I didn't even brush it this morning, that is why I like Caleb. Things just seem right with Caleb, better even he just makes me feel happy. It doesn't matter though, because Caleb likes someone else someone better, prettier,and smarter, definately not stronger though. I know she isn't stronger than me, I wuld tear her to pieces in a heartbeat if she hurt Caleb. I'm a cold blooded, stone cold b***h who will do anything to protect the people that I care about.I may have only known him for a month, but I swear I'm falling in love with Brittan. I don't care who knows, because no one elses opinion about who I like matters except mine.

I'm home from school and I'm talking to Nanna C.(Cicelia) I hope she'll understand about Nikki.

"Nanna I .... I think Nikki and I need to break up," I say to her.

" Oh Sweetpea why?"she asks," You two are so in love."

"Nanna do you think people can fall out of love?"ask her, looking nto my coffee cup.

" Well Sweetpea of course they can,"Nanna tells me, placing her hand over mine.

" Nanna, I think I've fallen out of love with Nikki," I tell her, with tears running down my face.

"Sweetpea, no matter what happens between you and Nikki you will always love eachother, and I will always love you." Nanna tells me, placing a frail hand on my cheeck.

"Hey, guys," Nikki says, startling us both and walking in the door.

" Hey Nikki,"i say to him, tears still running down my face.

"Honey, what's wrong? Are you okay," he asks me, putting a hand on each side of my face.

"I'm going to leave you two to talk," Nanna says, giving me a reassuring smile before walking out to the garden.

"Talk to me baby girl,"Nikki says, kneeling in front of me.

"Nikki, I think we need to break up," I say, crying harder.

"Baby, where is this coming from? I'm sure we can work this out," he tells me, kissing me lightly.

"We never see eachother anymore except when we sleep, I love you I really do but I need someone to spend time with. I met this guy Caleb, he is in my classes at school and he is really sweet and he makes me feel special like you used to." I tell him, feeling guilty with every word.

" Okay then," he tells me, getting up and hugging me.

"What?" I ask, feeling relieved.

"I said, it's okay with me if you want to break up. Just remember though I will always love and protect you no matter who you are with," He tells me, wrapping me in a sweet comfortable hug.

"Hey Nikki,"I say, so that he can barely hear me.

"Yeah baby?" he answers, pulling away from me slightly.

"I will always love you,"I say, pulling him back against me and being comfortable in his hug."Promise me you will still hug me like this." I say into his chest,and breathing in the intoxicating smell of Nikki.

"Yeah baby, I promise," He tells me," I don't want anything to change."

Today makes three weeks since Nikki and I broke up, I feel surprisingly okay. I no longer feel awkward or guilty about looking at Caleb, I just love the way he smiles at my blush when he catches me watching him. I think he might like me a little, he told me that his girlfriend cheated on him so they broke up. I know I probably shouldn't be happy about the breakups, but I am.

"So um hey Jesebel, would you maybe wanna go out to a movie or something?" Caleb asked me, while we were walking to science today.

"That sounds great Caleb, um I could give you my number and we could plan something," I told him, taking a paper out of my bag and quickly scribbling my phone number and e-mail down.

"Thanks, I really look forward to hanging out with you," he says, putting the paper in his back pocket and kissing my cheek before walking into class.

I walk into thhe classroom and to my seat, in the back next to my best friend Addison Martin. Addison and me have known eachother forever, she was there for me before Nikki.

"Hey Addi,"I say, taking my seat..

"How are ya Babe?" she asks me, leaning over in her seat to hug me.

"Well Caleb asked me if I wanted to go out with him and he walked away with my number and left me with a kiss," I tell her, giggling excitedly.

"Holy s**t. Babe you beter not be playing with me I'll kick your little a*s," she says, almost yelling.

"No joke I swear," I tell her,"pinky swear."

"Oh my gosh," she says, catching my excited giggles.

"Miss Carlisle, Miss Martin. Care to share with the class?" Professor Claire asks, coming to stand in front of us.

"No Ma'am," Addi and me say together.

"Then, will it be a problem for you if I start my class?" she asks.

"No ma'am," I say,"please do." Professor Claire goes back to the front of the class, and begins starting our lesson. I pass Addi a note, saying I'll text her. Caleb was is totally checking you out Jes.

HE is not u r dilusional.

Babe, I swear he is smiling at you.

Stop looking @ him.

Look up but don't make it obvious.

I can't look up w/out making it obvi.

YES you can.

Fine.

I look up and discover that Caleb is staring at me, but it is more cute than it is creepy. When I wave and smile back, he winks at me and I look down again. My phone vibrates and I look down.

TOld Ya so.;)

Brat,he's so cute.

Did you see him wink at you?

Ya, do u think that means something?

Yeah, only that he thinks

you're totally hot.

Shut up.

Well you are totally hot. If you played for my team you would be mine.😚

Ad's if I played for your team, we would never leave my room.;)

Talk dirty to me baby.

A little boy fell in the mud.

Oh yeah baby.

I wanna lick your face.😋

Oh god you make me want to buy you a cheese burger.XD

XD XD XD XD XD

With bacon.

Hang on Caleb texted.

CALEB TEXTED?!?!?!?!

YES.

I NEED DETAILS WOMAN.

Hang on I need to read the text.

I look at Calebs text and about pass out.

Hey, beautiful.;)

Hey, Caleb what's happening.

Would you maybe want to go out with me tomorrow night, my cousin is throwing a party.You can be my plus one.

Yeah, sure sounds fun.

Great I'll pick you up at seven.I'll be thinking about you. XOXO

See ya around ttyl

I look up and give him a smile, before going back to texting Addi.

I AM GOING OUT W/ CALEB TOMMOROW NITE.

HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP.

I kno rite? I am so excited.

But wait, you promised you would come over and try out my new straightener with me.

S**t, Ad's can we rain check?

Yeah whatever I mean it's not like we've been planning it since I ordered it three months ago.

Ya, but 3 months ago I didn't have a date W/ Caleb.

Whatever Jesebel, I hope you and lover boy have a great time!!!

Ad's come on.

Ad's....

Addi doesn't talk to me for the rest of the day, or the next day. I'm at lunch when, I feel hands go around my waist.

"Hey, beautiful,"Caleb whispers in my ear, before kissing my cheek.

"Caleb, hey," I say to him, taking his hands off of me.

"You ready for tonight," he says, smiling at me.

"Yeah, I have to be home by ten. My Nana won't be home, but those are the rules,"I tell him, getting up from my table as the bell rings.

"Let me take that," Caleb says, taking my bookbag and walking next to me.

"Thanks, where is your next class?" I ask him.

"Across campus,"he tells me, smiling down at me.

"You don't have to walk me to class, I can carry my own things,"I tell him, reaching for my messenger bag.

"I know, I want to" he says, only handing my things to me when we get to my class.

"I'll see you later," I say.

"See you tonight," he said dropping a kiss on my forehead.

I am waiting after school for Caleb to come pick me up, I'm really excited to go to this party with him. I jump to open the door, when I hear Caleb knocking on it.

"Hey,"I say, opening the door.

"Hey," he says," is there really no one home?"

"Yeah, it's just me," I answer, turning around to grab my purse.

"Cool, change of plans party for five," he says, pushing me onto the floor.

"CALEB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I scream, as he pulls my dress up and my panties down.

"I told you we're having a party,you get to be the honerary w***e"he says,and I hear him unzip his pants.

"CALEB STOP!"I yell, trying to push him off of me.

"Hold still, you may be classy but you're still my b***h," he says, pushing himself into me and harshly thrusting himself in and out of me. After three more guys, who I can't identify finish raping me they all leave.

"Thanks for the party basket case, I've never had such a nice s**t," Caleb says, closing the door behind him.

I hear him drive off, but I just lay on the floor and cry until I hear the backdoor open.

"Jes, are you home from your..." Nikki trails off, when he sees me laying on the floor crying.

"Nikki," I cry, curling myself into a fetal position.

"Oh, no Jes. He didn't," Nikki says, kneeling next to me.

"It was Caleb and three other guys," I sob, as Nikki picks me up off of the floor.

" Jes, come on we need to go to the police," he says, helping me fix my outfit.

"Nikki, no. I don't want to make a big deal out of it," I say, burying my head in his chest.

"Jes, honey I can't help you if you don't let me," he says, lifting me and carrying me to the bathroom.

"I just want everything to go back to normal,"I tell him."I want you to love me again and I want you to protect me gain and I want you to be the one to make me feel special and never leave me because I know that you would never hurt me."

"Okay, baby I'll let you get cleaned up," he says, starting to get up.

"Nikki, it hurts a lot," I tell him, catching his hand. "Help me please,"I plead, tears running down my face.

Nikki helps me bathe and he sings to me the whole time, when he is done he tenderly kisses all of the bruises and carries me to the kitchen.

"Do you need anything baby?" he asks, sitting me on the bar and standing in front of me.

"I need you," I say, putting my arms around his neck and starting to cry again.

"Calm down baby," he tells me, taking my face in his hands.

"Please, please Nikki. Please don't leave me,"I sob, leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Jesebel, honey, I'm not going anywhere. Look at me," he says, lifting my chin so our eyes meet. "I love you," he says, "I won't let anything hurt you again."

"Nikki, I love you," I tell him, and before I can stop myself I am kissing him.

"Jes, I have a girlfriend,"he tells me, pulling my arms from around his neck.

"Oh," I say, pushing him away and easing myself off of the counter.

"Jes, I'm sorry"he says, trying to grab my hand.

"No it's fine, I'm sorry,"I tell him, trying to walk away but I'm in too much pain and I end up sinking to the floor.

"Jes, let me help you," Nikki says, lifting me off of the floor.

"Nikki, I've got it," I tell him, trying to stand again and falling.

"Honey, I think it's broken," he says, looking at my leg.

"I don't know, it hurts like hell though," I say, wiping my eyes.

"Baby, we need to get you to the hospital," he says, lifting me and carrying me out to his car.

"NIkki you don't have to take me, I can call Addi or Nanna,"I say,"I wouldn't want to cause problems between you and your girlfriend."

"Shut up Jes," he says, driving in the direction of May Mercy hospital.

"Why? I am genuinely concerned about you and your love life," I tell him bitterly.

"Jackie is a nice girl," he says, "she wouldn't mind me helping out an old friend."

"Wow, now I'm just your friend. The demotion is painful," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Why are you acting like such a brat? I'm trying to help you," he says,putting his hand in my lap.

"Shut up Nikki,"I say, starting to cry again.

"Come on, Jes don't be like that," he says,we are just passing theskate park.

"Let me out of the car,"I say, unbuckling my seatbelt.

"No,"he says.

"Nikki, stop the f*****g car now,"I yell, cracking my door open until he stops.

I get out of the car, sit on the curb in front of the skate park, and cry. I cry because I was raped, I cry because Nikki has a girlfriend, I cry because it feels like Nikki doesn't love me anymore, I cry because I am in pain, I cry because I want Nanna, and I cry because life doesn't feel worth living anymore.

"Jesabel, honey get off of the ground," Nikki says, coming around the frot of the car and standing infront of me.

"Do you remember when we first met?" I choke out,"how I cried and you held me and I felt loved for the first time in my life."

"Yeah, yeah I do and I still love you Jesebel," he says, sitting next to me.

"I love you Nikki," I say, pulling out my pocket knife and slitting my wrist before he can stop me.

"JES,JESABEL! JESABEL NO!!" he sobbed, pulling off his shirt and pressing it against my wrist. "SOMEBODY HELP, CALL AN AMBULANCE," he screamed, tears streaming down his beautiful face.

I drift in and out of conciousness, I hear the ambulance and then darkness falls over me, then I smell the hospital, then darkness.

When I come to, I see Nikki sitting beside me, my leg feels heavy, and I can't move my arm.

"Am I in heaven?"I ask, reaching for Nikki's hand slowly. Nikki shakes his head and kisses my hand. " Angels shouldn't cry," I say, wiping tears from his cheeks.

"Oh, my God. Jesabel, I'm so sorry. I love you so much," he says his voice gruff, kissing my forehead gently.

"Why are you sorry and why am I not dead?" I ask, looking at him quizically.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry that I hurt you but I will not apologize for saving you," he says, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

"I'm glad you saved me, I couldn't imagine never seeing you again," I tell him, my voice weak.

"I guess my leg was broken," I say, looking down and seeing a purple cast on my left leg.

"Yeah it is, and Jackie dumped me because I wouldn't have sex with her because I will only ever have sex with the woman I love," he tells me, giving me a shy smile.

"I love you Nikki,"I tell him, tears pooling in my eyes.

"Jesabel," he says, kneeling by the hospital bed," marry me."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I tell him, resisting the urge to crawl out of the hospital bed and into his lap.

"Is that a yes?" he asks, getting back in his chair.

"It damn sure isn't a no," I say, reaching out my good arm and wiping more tears from his gorgeous green eyes.

"I love you Jesabel," he says, gently kissing me. Merely a brush of his lips against mine, but enough to drive me insane.

"Knock, Knock. Oh great you're up," a woman clearly a nurse says, giving me a motherly smile."I'm Jackie, I've been helping Dr. Charmichle with your treatment," she says, flashing another smile.

"Hi," I say, wondering if this is the Jackie that Nikki was dating.

"You have quite the man here, he has been here day and night for the past three days, refused to leave until his little Angel woke up," she says, checking my vital signs.

"Yeah, he really is something else," I tell her, squeezing Nikki's hand.

"I'll send Dr. Charmichle in, in just a second dear," she says, walking out of the room being sure to close the door behind her.

"Was that her?" I ask, beginning to feel dizzy.

"Yes that was her," Nikki answers, not letting go of my hand.

"And why wold you not screw her?" I ask,"she was pretty hot."

"I did not make love with her because I gave away my V-card to someone that I love and her name I Jesabel," he says, running his thumb over my knuckles.

"I love you more," I say, leaning over and brushing my lips over his.

"How are we feeling today?" Dr. Charmichle asks, lokking down at my chart.

"I feel great, I'm getting married," I tell him, smiling hapilly.

"That's great," he says, " there are a few things we need to address be fore we let you go."

"Like?" Nikki asks, looking concernedly at me.

"Like is she having suicidal thoughts ? Or if you will be able to sustainably care for her?" Dr. Charmichle says, looking at me.

"I'm not having suicidal thoughts," I lie, " and Nikki has been doing a great job of taking care of me so has his Nanna," I tell him, sitting up higher in the uncomfortable hospital bed.

"Well, your Nanna has been by and I am assured that she does a wonderful job of caring for you and making sure that you are given a nourishing education," Dr. Charmichle tells me. "Well I have a number for a therapist in the event that you do begin having suicidal thought. I also have a list of remedies for your anxiety, Nikki maentioned you have had a few anxiety attacks," he says, surprising me. I had no idea that Nikki had been a witness to any of my many anxiety attacks.

"Okay, I'll make sure that I keep an eye on her," Nikki says, mock saluting Dr.Charmichle.

"Okay then, here are your discharge forms. I hope to not see you again anytime soon," Dr. Charmichle says, handing Nikki a series of forms and walking out of the room.

"Nanna brought you some clothes," Nikki says, setting a small duffel bag in my lap.

"Why didn't you tell me that you knew about my anxiety?" I ask him, opening the bag and taking out the outfit that Nanna brought for me.

"I thought that it might make it worse," he says, helping me ease off the hospital gown and put on the pink baby doll shirt Nanna knows is my favorite.

"It's no big deal," I tell him, as he helps me put on a cute black skirt that Nanna must have bought for me.

"You look great," Nikki tells me, as Jackie walks in with a wheel chair.

"What's that for?" I ask, looking at the wheel chair.

"Your leg honey, we can't let you walk out on crutches," she says, helping Nikki settle me.

"Why?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

"State policy honey, I don't make the rules I just have to follow them," she says, slowly pushing me down the hall. Nikki walks next to me holding my bag with one hand, my hand with the other. We go to the lobby in silence.

"Okay, baby I'll be right back," Nikki tells me, kissing my forehead before going to get the car.

"He's really sweet,"Jackie says," you are lucky to have him."

"Yeah, I am," I say, admiring the little gold ring on my finger with a Ruby in the center of it.

" Didn't miss me too much did you?" Nikki asks, parking and getting out of the car to help me into it.

"Not too much,"I say, death glaring at Jaquiline over his shoulder.

"Good," he says, closing my door. "Sorry she's such a pain, but I love her, thanks for your help," he says to Jackie, getting in the car.

"She seemed really sweet Nikki,"I tell him, looking out my window as the world goes by.

"Yeah, but I'm kind of really into this one girl," he says, lifting my hand to his lips and kissing it tenderly.

"Oh really?" I ask, "I hope I'm not keeping you from her."

"Nah, she's just this crazy hot red headed chick with gorgeous green eyes named Jesebel,"he says, turning down our street.

"Where's Nanna?" I ask, as we pull into the drive way.

"She went out with a few friends, she thinks we need time to be alone," he says, getting out of the car and running to open the front door. Nikki lifts me out of the car and carries me into the house, he sets me down on the couch before going to the kitchen and bringing me a bowl of ice-cream.

"Thanks babe,"I say, taking it from him.

"Addison has been texting me nonstop for the past three days, wondering where you've been. I told her you were at the hospital, but not which one or why. I figure you'll tell her when you are ready, same for Nanna," he tells me, lifting me to sit in his lap.

"Thanks Honey,"I tell him, and he nods at me. "I mean seriously thank you for loving me, taking care of me,protecting me..."I'm saying, when Nikki cuts me off with a kiss. I finish with my ice-cream and tell Nikki that I'm ready to go to bed, he puts my bowl on the coffee table and insists on carrying me to bed. He lays me down, before laying next to me.

A couple hours later, I wake up because I hear Nikki crying and I roll over burying my face in his chest.

"I'm sorry," he says, still sleeping. "I'm so, so sorry Jesabel. I should have been there, I should have saved you. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to protect you," he sobs in his sleep, my heart breaks knowing that he blames himself.

"Nikki,"I say, shaking him awake.

"Jesabel, baby what's wrong?" he asks, sitting up and turning on the lamp next to the bed. "Are you okay?" he asks, hugging me against his chest he's still in tears.

"It's not your fault," I say, looking at him and wiping tears from his eyes. "You couldn't do anything to help me, there were three of them," I say, tears now falling down my face.

"There were three?" he asks, starting to cry harder when I nod. "Oh, my God,Oh my God," he says, hugging me tighter. "Oh, Jes, I should have been there. Jes, I... I'm so sorry Jes."

"I should have just gone to Addisons, none of this would have happened,"I say, swallowing my pride and admitting I was wrong.

"You can't blame yourself," he says, wiping my tears then his.

"Nikki, make love to me," I say, looking at his misty eyes.

"No,"he says, shaking his head slowly.

"Nikki, please. After what happened to me I need you, please. I want to feel better, to not be afraid to have sex with someone who I care about," I tell him, still feeling broken.

"Okay," he sighs,pulling me closer to him.

Nikki is careful to not hurt me and he is gentle as to make me feel comfortabke, I cry when he lays next to me and takes my faae in his hands to kiss me. He kisses and caresses every part of me, making me feel loved and whole.

When Nikki pulls me against him, and pulls the blanket over our heads and I lay my head against his chest.

"I love you,"I say, kissing his chest above his heart.

"I love you more," he says, kissing the top of my head and running his hand up and down my side.

"You know what we haven't done since we started dating?" I ask him, looking up at him.

"What baby?" he asks, looking down at me.

"Stayed in bed all day and watched movies," I tell him, smiling at the memory.

"What about you going to school and me going to work?" he asks, looking at me questioningly.

"I'm not going back to school," I tell him, sitting up.

"Why not baby don't drop out," he says,"I know people who have and they regret it every day. I pushed through you can too."

"Honey I'm not dropping out, I have enough credits for early graduation," I say.

"What about Senior prom Jes, hanging out with your friends going to Disney world on Senior day?" he asks me,"Are you ready to give that up and be an adult?"

"You think I'm not ready to be an adult Nikki?" I ask, moving away from him slightly.

"Jes, thats not what I'm trying to say. I just want you to be able to experience highschool, I grew up too fast because I had to," he says, looking at me sincerely.

"I can't go back to school Nikki, I just can't. What if they find me and hurt me again?" I say, tears gathering in my eyes.

"I promise if I ever see them I'll beat every one of them bloody," he says, running a hand through my hair.

"You can't get arrested Nikki, I need you," I tell him, kissing his lips lightly.

"I'll take you to the school tomorrow and you can apply for early graduation," he says,, tensing up at the thought of me being hurt again.

"Nanna needs to be with us too, so she can sign the paper work as my legal guardian,"I tell him,moving closer to him again.

Nikki calmly sleeps throughout the night, I stay curled against his side in his t-shirt with his arms around me unable to fall asleep. I must eventually drift off, because when I wake up Nikki is still holding me and playing with my hair.

"You need to call her," he says absent mindedly handing me my phone.

"Who?" I ask, playing dumb knowing he's talking about Addi.

"I'm serious Jesebel, call her,"he says. "I'm going to take a shower. Call her," he gets out of bed and walks to the bathroom. When I hear the bathroom door close, I turn on my phone. I listen to the messages from Addi and cry the whole time, by time I'm done I know that I have to call her.

"Holy crap Jesebel, is that you," Addi says, when she answers the phne.

"It's me Adds," I say, crying harder when I hear the tears in her voice.

"I have been so worried about you, how did your date with the devil go?" she asks, and I start having an anxiety attack. " Breathe honey," she says, hearing me struggle to breathe. "Put me on speaker," she says, and when I do she screams for Nikki. He runs into our room shirtless in a pair of long shorts and kneels in front of me, rubbing a hand up and down my back trying to calm me down

"What's wrong with her Addison?" Nikki says, taking the phone from me.

"She's having an anxiety attack, don't take her to the doctor it will make her worse," Addi tells him,

" I'm going to hang up so you can take care of her. I love you Jes."

"Angel, look at me," Nikki tells me, sitting on the bed and pulling me into his lap. I lean my head on his shoulder and try to slow my breathing, I turn my face away from Nikki's and throw up on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I gasp, when I can finally breathe again.

"It's okay Angel, as long as you are okay," he tells me, carrying me to the bathroom.

"I didn't mean to puke on you," I tell him, as he wipes his shoulder off with a soapy wet wash cloth.

"I know you didn't honey," he says, wiping my face and handing me a glass of water and one of my painkillers.

"I love you Nikki, you never get upset with me," I say, holding his hand. "Why don't you ever get upset with me?" I ask, rubbing my thumb on the back of his hand.

"I do get upset with you, but I love you. I will always forgive you Jes and I never want to fight with you, because fighting is not worth losing the most important thing in the world to me," he says, squeezing my hand gently.

"Nikki, I love you,"I tell him, kissing his cheeck softly.

"I love you too Jes," he says, smiling softly. "Do you want to tell me why you freaked out on Addison?" he asks, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"She asked about what happened, when I was supposed to go out with Caleb...," I tell him, smiling sadly.

"You aren't ready to talk about it?" he asks, running his thumb along my jaw line and gritting his teeth.

I shake my head slowly ,"Anyway, we need to get to the school. Can you see if Nanna is awake?" I ask, smiling again.

"Yeah baby, " he says, taking me to our room and setting me on the bed. "I guess she's awake," he says, glancing behind me and seeing an outfit Nanna laid out for me.

"I guess she is," I say, and with Nikki's help I slip on the dress on the bed and a combat boot. "Give me my crutches, so I can go to the kitchen," I tell him.

"I can carry you just fine," he says, looking at me as if I'm a new born baby.

"I need to be able to take care of myself while you are at work," I tell him, kissing his cheek softly.

"Okay, I guess you're right," he says, handing me my crutches that were leaned against the wall and helping me stand.

"You think Nanna has started breakfast yet?" I ask him, carefully making my way down the hall to the kitchen with Nikki walking a safe distance behind me in case I fall.

"Probably, she's Nanna," he tells me, leaning up against the back of the couch.

"You kids want some pancakes?" Nanna says, not bothering to leave the kitchen.

"Please," I say, going to lean on the kitchen counter.

"How are you this morning Sweetie?" Nanna asks, glancing up from her cookng and smiling at me.

"I'm great," I tell her, smiling back.

"Even with a broken leg, my littl Angel is still Miss Independant," Nikki says, coming up behind me and putting his hands around my waist.

"I don't need help," I say, leaning against him and putting my head on his chest.

"You can come and sit at the table little Missy," Nanna tells me, pointing at my usual seat with her spatula.

"Yes ma'am," I say, being lifted by Nikki before I can crutch my way to the table.

"Nikki, you sit too," Nanna says, motioning to the seat next to mne.

"Yes Nanna," he says, kissing Nanna's cheek before coming to sit by me.

"So, are you sure you want to follow through with your early graduation?" Nanna asks me, setting breakfast in front of me and Nikki.