He and I

Uh kind of sad? My second short story o.o

There I was, walking home. It was autumn, and there were red, gold and brown leaves showering the sidewalks and streets. My usually fast pace was slowed down that day, because I was remembering then. I was remembering him. The feel of his hands in mine; how they over-whelmed my much smaller ones. I was remembering while I was walking, how he used to walk with me. I thought of the times when he was here to shelter me from the rain, and barricade me from any pain.

He was such a sweet, sweet boy. I kept walking and walking, and then I looked up ahead of me to see that tree. The one that he and I had sat under, and the one under which he had first kissed me. Oh, how tender his lips were… They were as gentle as the blanketed clouds above, and as refreshing as the rain-drops that had begun to fall as I walked, as I remembered. Aged leaves below me crunched under the weight of each weary step and, the rain seemed to fall harder but, the sharp drops never once hurt. The grey pavement below began to turn black with moisture, and a car zoomed past me and snapped me out of my thoughtful trance. But, only for a small, excruciatingly guilt-filled moment.

He is Cedric and, he was my best friend. He was my first love. He was a brilliant mind, with a heart of gold and he had the cutest smile. He loved me and I loved him too and, I can still, as I write this, feel his rough cheeks, tender lips, and well defined jaw under my wandering fingers. As I walked that day, down that street, beneath that rain it felt so hard to walk without his hand in mine. That day I didn’t cry, but the sky cried for me and it felt good, even when it hurt. He had this laughter, that could make anyone smile and, he had a way with words. He always knew just how to hold me and where to kiss.

As I walked on, into the pellet-like-drops I remembered the way he had given me his coat every time he saw me shiver, just as he would give me his shoulder anytime I needed to cry. His short, soft brown curly hair is still slipping through my fingers, as it did when he had laid his head in my lap. The sky’s tears wet my cheeks, my shaking hands, and seemed to slip into my soul. That day, the weeping winds had mimicked my inner sorrow, and the fallen leaves looked like pieces of my heart. I walked straight, going up the steep hill, which lead to a corner that we had once called home. That day was a sad one, and I will always remember it.

When I sat at that corner that rainy day, not caring what the wet pavement might do, I finally cried. It felt like he was still sitting there, beside me, with an arm around my shoulder and, kissing away my tears. Actually, I think that it was more so, wishful thinking on my part, I think at that moment I had wished he was there to do that. And, it was there, that I realized not once had I kissed away his tears, nor had I ever seen any tears in his gorgeous eyes. It was in that moment that I realized how selfless he really was and, it was then that my love for him grew to an unimaginable point. But as the emptiness of not having him sank in, I fell off that heightened point.

I took the hill one step at a time, as I went down it and, I remembered him. I thought of how he could always make me smile and, how he always walked with me during these, unbearable times. As each, wet, step echoed in the empty street, and while the rain continued to fall I had heard him. He was there and I heard him, I heard his laughter. It echoed through my heart and soul and everything in-between. As I had stood there I spun around to find no one, but his voice was there. It was in my ear, and for the first time since he died, I felt warmth. I could hear him smile and then… I heard it and, it brought tears to my eyes;

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you.

It was our song; he had sung it to me many times, just to cheer me up. And, as I heard it I smiled for him, despite the tears spilling down my cheeks. His voice faded, then, into the winds and I was left again with just the sound of the rain and tears. The wet “splish-splashing” sound my foot-steps made in the puddles followed me home.

                The crunching of the leaves had ceased, due to them being wet from the rain and flattened against the pavement. The small pools of water on the street began to making “dripping” sounds, because the rain had yet to cease. My eye-lids felt heavy and swollen from crying and, my lips felt chapped despite the rain. My heart felt utterly broken. As I reached the front lawn of my home I stopped and, that day before going inside I took off the promise-ring he had given me and I buried it beneath a rose-bush. I straightened up a bit, though my shoulders remained slouched. I felt dry of tears, and alone. I opened the front door of my home, and walked inside. I locked the door tight and checked twice to make sure, as if I were trying to barricade my home from anymore pain. I entered my dimmed, un-organized room and peeled off all of my wet layers and, as I slipped under my bed-covers and curled up into a tight ball, I shut my eyes. And I silently imagined that right now, in that excruciatingly empty bed, it was just he and I.

                I imagined that his warm arms were still around me, and I imagined that I could still feel his heart beat beneath my cheek. I imagined that it was all good and well, even when it wasn’t. Just the two of us… He and I, he and I… Just he and I.

Author's Note

Uh, please be honest about what you think! I don't write Short stories much, so I need to improve as much as I can!

Reviews

[SR Urie]

Miss Arasinya,
You write very well, superb prose, and great lyrics (?). I have to admit that at the beginning when you started to describe the tree and the leaves and how they made you feel, it was a tad predictable. But your story about 'Cedric' was very genuine and an enjoyable read. To be even more genuous on my part, I would've like to have heard a little more about your relationship, how you two met, what kind of things you enjoyed doing in addition to kissing and singing (?). Absolutely perfect grammar. Keep it up. You are very beautiful! BZ

[Alessander]

You do a pretty good job with the setting and imagery, but when it comes to describing "he" it becomes overly sentimental and cliche, "He was a brilliant mind, with a heart of gold and he had the cutest smile. He loved me and I loved him too and, I can still, as I write this, feel his rough cheeks, tender lips, and well defined jaw under my wandering fingers"... No offense, but it's straight out of a Romance novel. I know it's hard to be "objective" when it comes to such stuff, but I think if you presented him in less generic terms, it would really help out the piece. Well, u said to be honest lol But like I said, the setting and imagery are solid, which may simply mean you're more of a poet than prose writer like muah;)

[Michael X]

it is the most about heartbreak story, i think any reader would agree. the feeling of affection and longing and release plays well into the plot, the addition lyrical quote added depth, an all the way around magnificent story, keep em coming.

[alan khan]

you know how to carry a story well. i;m not really into the cuties stuff/broken heart stuff, but you definatley do a good job letting the reader know how you feel.