Breaking

Bleh.

I am hoping

To see the sun once more,

As I am reaching

For the closing door.

 

 

I am crying,

For my lost heart,

While I end,

What could never start.

 

I am running,

In circles it seems,

And I am watching,

As my heart bleeds.

 

 

 

I am falling,

Into a dark abyss,

While breaking,

Under the greed for bliss.

 

 

 

 

My bones are cracking,

And my mind is dust,

And I am breaking,

Because I must.

 

Author's Note

Lemme Know what you think..

Reviews

[Corvus]

It's very sad and somewhat desperate, which makes for a good poem. I love the fluency it has. Well written. I can't wait to read more of your work!

[Fuzzy_Poluzah]

...interesting.........!!!!!!!!!
I am crying,

For my lost heart,

While I end,

What could never start.
that line is my fave>...lolz not that the others are bad!!.....yuep!

[Tate Morgan]

My bones are cracking,

And my mind is dust,

And I am breaking,

Because I must.
this part my favorite I do not like poems broken across the page as they seem disjointed and it serves little purpose

[ChristianM]

Sounds like me when I can't or don't feel like writing. lol
I really enjoyed this. Made me think of someone in a loveless relationship or marriage.
Putting in all the effort and getting nowhere, going in circles.
Great job as always Adora

[Crowley]

Cool structure, super sad subject matter, great writing. I like it, It just always makes me sad when I read about the anxiety that lost love and hopeless longing. Beautiful poem girly.

[Taylor H.]

loved the format and the poem! Great job!

[Warick Ten Bohmer]

Your poem inspired me to write a poem :L

I'll give you the credit for the inspiration and add it to my profile.
It's probably no where near as good as yours, but thank you very much for creating this masterpiece and helping me create more poetry.

[Dutch Jr.]

Definitely a good read. An abstract poem, expressing your complicated thoughts.

[grady sedgwick]

i'm no expert poet here, but i really like this one, especially the last stanza. only thing i didn't go for is the bleeding heart, it's trying too hard imo.

[Michael X]

fun and experimental, knowing how you write, this poem seems like great practice to try different styles, I can't say you pulled it off perfectly,
imo, you need to still take more time trying to give your work
a more original perspective withought double emphasizing
like "dark abyss"...in any regards, i think you
really improving, but i wouldnt rush so quick that you lose the feeling
in cliches. you are an awsome writer, keep it up.