Anger

A short poem about my anger.

Yelling so loud until my voice is dead,

I was yelling, but I didn't know why.
I should have calmed instead;
My anger started because of a petty lie.

I should have realized I was going nuts
For something I won't care about tomorrow.
the only answers I had were "buts"
When someone asked me to grow.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Two brief stanzas to encapsulate the emotional state is a gutsy move, given anger is a fire and grows exponentially before it even begins to simmer. But here you have everything you need to convey the story at hand, which makes it brilliant on paper. In practice and effect, if you don't mind me being so bold, it falls a tad flat - just a tad. The second stanza is untouchably stupendous. Doesn't need a single tweak, it's golden. It takes us on that exponential growth that the fire of anger blazes and doesn't even simmer once that kicker of an ending explodes in our faces. Fantastic! The first stanza, however, is where it falls flat. The first two lines are great, the repetition complementary, adding to the quality and integrity along with the musicality/rhythm that carries them. Problem #1: Line 4 answers the "didn't know why" in Line 2 thus contradicting the sentiment. Here is what I feel is a rhyme for the sake of rhyming, which isn't the best tactic in poetry, and you sort of get away with it here, but because of the contradiction between those lines, it kind of stands out in a bad way (the second stanza kind of adds to the contradiction too, not complements the "I didn't know why"). Problem #2: your musicality/rhythm in Lines 3 and 4 don't match the second stanza. While it's ok to change the musicality a bit between stanzas, your final line is sooooo good as a short line that Line 3 in Stanza 1 sounds off coming between two long lines as you have Lines 2 and 4. This is probably also the fact that the contradiction is rather striking that it drags Line 3 down with it (so it may just be the one problem). Everything else is simply fantastic and if you take a little time for that tweak, you'd have golden perfection with this piece. Well done!

[In Em's Wonderland]

Anger is such a dark emotion...but it's best not to let it control you or your decisions. "Don't let it drown you."