Examination

Rabble about experiences

Time spent sat in that bloody hall,
 always cold.
Never did have the heating on.
We ended up chilled and frosty,
 rigid as we wobbled out on stiff legs.
Was it necessary? 
They always said it was. A future,
 our goal.
It's sad they thought I had one.
Those exams were murderous,
 but I passed. Just.

Now I'm back in the loop.
Come the winter melt, I'll be at it again,
  nights spent pouring over books, memorising
  knowledge that will decide my fate.
My fate was sealed since the day I became 
  another number in the system.
I have a little intellect but it'll go to waste.
Like the time that went to waste back in the Summer,
  scribbling answers in panic on paper that had more value 
  that my living, breathing life.

What life will I live?
Where will it take me?
The answers to my questions are hidden
  in the envelope 
  in the enforcing hand
  of my news-bearer. They decide who I am.
Fate, sealed.
Fastened behind gates of hope, fury and
  sheer terror, the glue being my esteem,
  which had long since depleted to a pitiful, grey stream.