among angels and other things

his profile in the darkness makes my heart tremble. nowhere to escape, trapped in the corner of a shabby nightclub. all the little bubbles of alcohol swimming in my blood, disappear and leave me utterly sober. the others' faces flicker past in the night, their conversation without content and I keep my fingers clutched to the edge of the table. his smile is a razor blade, cutting off my heart's wires. falling, though I remain standing, down into utter shame. praying to all angels that he won't see me here tonight. asking all demons that he shoves his tongue down my throat before dawn. he gestures with his hands, showing others exactly what he means, and my skin is burning. memories invade, my body betrays me. like a fallen angel outside the pearly gates I bathe in his splendor. tomorrow's pain and agony, his indifference; what is eternity in hell to a night in his arms ...