Best Friends

Best Friends

A Story by Yoshiyuki

The bond two people share can be hard to break.


You know this day would’ve come sooner or later she mumbled to herself, lying on her death bed. She can only wait for that last breath to finally end as her beloved stays by her side. Liquid starts to pour down her arms. She looks into his eyes seeing a reflection of her crimson eyes within them. Her breathing becomes weaker with each passing moment. “Sayomi I love you with all that I have. I know we don’t have much time left. Even though I am still young you will be the only girl that has my heart. I will see you again. I promise.” He says with passion and sorrow in his voice. Yoshiyuki firmly holds her hand while staring into her crimson eyes.


              Tears start to fall faster as he passionately stares into her eyes. “Remember the first time we met? I was so scared of you I thought you were the devil. Your crimson eyes were scary at first but now I cannot live without them” He chuckled. Through her weakened state she manages to produce a slight smile. “I can remember it like it was yesterday. You were sitting alone crying in the darkened night underneath the dim lights of the park. You raised your head and all I could see was those glowing crimson eyes. I jumped back rudely but as you started to run away I chased you into the dark. And I am glad every day that I chased you. There is no one greater than you.”


              Sayomi stares in his eyes even though she is weakened she tries to speak. Even though she is about to die, his eyes show greater pain. “Yoshiyuki give up on me. I was happy enough to have you love me till the very end. But don’t spend the rest of your life alone. I love you and that’s why when I am gone move on and forget me.” Those words pained him like a thousand knives piercing through a soul. He clenches her hands. It’s as if he’s afraid she will disappear. He sighs with disappointment. “You care too much sometimes. And this time I am not going to let you down. Spending one hundred years without you is just a pebble in the road for the eternity I will be with you. I said it before no one could replace you.” Tears that had been falling had come to a trickle. He runs his fingers down her face wiping the tears from her face.


              “Remember the time when I chased you in the rain through the town. You can be stubborn sometimes. I am sure we will have much more “memorable” memories. You looked so stunning with your hair soaked in the rain. Your eyes glowed in the little moonlight that shined through. I was so worried about you and in the end I was the one that collapsed” Yoshiyuki laughed remembering the fun times they shared together. Sayomi chuckled within her coughs and labored breathing. Her eyes becomes smaller and smaller. Yoshiyuki calls out to her in concern. But all that answers his calls is a silent room. He closes his eyes to prevent the tears from flowing out. But it the flow just keeps pouring out. Rest in peace my love he tells her in a solemn voice.


              In his surprise tiny arms wrap itself around his legs. “What are you doing here Saiyuki? Where are grandpa and grandma?” He asks Saiyuki trying to hide her sadness. Saiyuki turns his attention toward his mom. She jumps on the bed where Sayomi lies. “Mommy? Mommy? Daddy why wont mommy wake up?” She asks with confusion. Yoshiyuki can’t hold his tears in any longer, like a damn break it all just flows out. “Mommy is in a better place. Even if it seems hard she wants us to be happy. One day we will see mommy again I promise. We will get through this together.” He picks up Saiyuki trying to comfort her, though her cry tears his heart apart.  

© 2012 Yoshiyuki

Author's Note

This is a draft so far.

My Review

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Great story! Very touching, I love the imagery and if I still had a heart, I might have cried at the end of the story.

Posted 12 Years Ago

I read this a long time ago, but I guess I forgot to give a review. Amazing how you wrote this. So sad. Having a hard time trying not to cry... There were mistakes but since its a draft, I won't say anything. Truly a magnificent piece!

Posted 12 Years Ago

A sad story on the death of a loved one.Can't wait to read the finished piece!

Posted 12 Years Ago

Wow. I can't stop crying ;( This was just wonderful. You did an excellent job of catching the reader's attention. Amazing. Honestly, I can't say how much I love this piece. I really enjoy reading writings that jam full of emotions and you did a fantastic job of doing that with your writing. Excellent!

Piece of constructive criticism:
Since this is a draft, I did find a few mistakes. First of all, I see that you're switching between tenses. I think it throws the reader off a bit, if you do so. Since you used past tense in the majority of your writing, I think you should be persistent with that. Second of all, there are several grammar mistakes. If those are fixed, this writing would be perfect.

Great job and I can't wait to read more! :)

Posted 12 Years Ago

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4 Reviews
Added on December 7, 2011
Last Updated on September 25, 2012
Tags: Death



Kahului, HI

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