Hi!

Hi.

I have been good. How have you been?

I have not been missing any meals but I eat little at a time because I’m never hungry even if I am I can’t seem to get a lot down.

I sleep okay. Not great but okay. I either sleep too early or too late. I either sleep too much or too little. I wake up in the middle of the night, scared and unable to fall back asleep. Then I just lie awake thinking of things I shouldn’t be thinking about. I find myself either not wanting to fall asleep or not wanting to get up. Whenever I do get up, I lie lifeless in my bed pretending that the outside world doesn’t exist and everything is perfect but it never is.

I don’t do much in the day. I go from staring at one screen to another. Hoping. Waiting. Even though I don’t move around a lot, I feel tired all the time. I haven’t been sick but I haven’t felt healthy.

I do what is required of me. I smile and laugh when I am supposed to but that’s mainly because I don’t want anyone to ask me how I am or if something is bothering me. People do ask sometimes, but I either say I’m okay and wink or I avoid the subject. I guess I have gotten good at pretending to just be tired. Its either that or no one really cares anymore.

I haven’t cried at all. If I think I usually choke up especially in front of my parents or other people but I have been pretty good at controlling my tears this time around.

I don’t talk much. To anyone. I talk to myself sometimes without knowing it.

I dress well but I don’t feel like I look good. I just go with the opinion of the first person I ask.

I stare at things and walls and myself in the mirror sometimes but I am unable to perceive any of it. I see it but I don’t know what I’m seeing or what to make of what I see.

I go to sleep each night hoping tomorrow will be easier than today. It never is.

I wish that I would get hurt. I don’t want to hurt myself but I want to be careless enough to get hurt. Physical pain might help the emotional pain. It might give me the kick I need to cry It all out.

Enough about me. As you can see, I have been good. How have you been?

 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

When I saw your title, I wondered if this would be a simple poem. Your title is very ironic becuz your poem is anything but simple. You state seemingly simple self-truths, but the way you put everything together is complicated & well-thought-out. I hate reading people who feel bad & they can only barf up whiny words. Here you have written the poster child for turning pain into art. Your powers of observation are killer. The most valuable trait for a writer is self-truth . . . if you can’t be honest with yourself, your readers will know that you’re a fraud. This piece is the exact opposite of that principle. You are so truthful, sometimes I’m reading along & I cringe at how NOT TRUTHFUL I am, in comparison to HOW TRUTHFUL you are being here. You observe & admit to things that I’ve never heard anyone admit. Then your ending is so dripping with sarcasm, I just love it. This is a very original way to showcase a s****y breakup & failing attempts to act like you’re over it! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[¿]

Breakup story?!....pretty guts you got to express....soft voice yet feels like yelling at the one who left from life here in this story...Almighty's grace be upon you friend☺!