IM SORRY I FAILED

I miscarried a year ago september 9 and again January 11th, i had a lot of issues surrounding both but my last was the worse by far

They say dont hold back let everything out
Scream it from the roof tops if it will help
But letting people in is just so hard
When the scars you left are still with in
There apart of me
You clung on for life
They ripped you out
You made a home
But you couldnt stay
Im so sorry i made them take you away
But i could go with you,
You see you couldnt stay
I had to let you go
And physically i did
I drove you away
They sucked you out
I walked into that room i saw the midevil instruments they would use
Yet i didnt stop them
Because while you was being stripped away
I dreamed we floated away
We went up into the sky you and me
We met my aunt
And your great grandad took you in
See i knew youd be safe so i let you be
When i come to i knew id not see you again
Every day since i wiah i could hold you
Its been over a year now and im falling apart

You see i failed you i did it again
I stayed with you father
We created another
Yet they could not stay either
And i couldnt protect them
I failed your sibling more than i did you
You see i couldnt carry them as i did i you
i failed that day
That day was it i couldnt cope
There was so much pain
I filed to bring you life i failed to give them what they needed
I failed to carry them
I know they had to leave
But could i not have brought them to you
As they needed
Why was that right so stripped away
Did i fail them did i fail you
I could save them from the demond hidden in plain site
I cpuldnt find them and keep them combined
In bits they were taken from me
From left to right
I had no claim i had no rights
Did you get to where you needed to be
Where you belonged
Did you make it to the light
I failed you in so many ways

You left lasting scars in so many parts
They may phycally leave one day just as you did
But some scars ill wear proud
As short lived as it was i knew you
My heart had butterflies
My cheat burt with your fire
You was to good for this world
You desered better
I hope you found it
Though i couldnt say goodbye

I hope you know peace
I hope you know love
I hope your warm
Our paths will cross again and that day i know
Our hearts will beat as one
We may not know eachother in truth
But in sprit we will always know we belong
Together you and i

I know why left and im sorry i didnt see it
I wish that if i did things might have been different
But i know your okay
I changed my life for you
Even though your gone
Youll be in my heart
I will live everyday
I can for you
Ill see you again and i hope its soon

Author's Note

Im writing this not for help, yes it helped me to write this at 6am on no sleep crying because i lost a part of me. But im writing this to let others know they are not alone! And they dont have to hide anything ever

Reviews

[Tepo]

Thanks for having the courage to share this one Zee
Emotionally charged
The segment where you both floated away was stunning
Almost want to ask for a name
As you described your child and love between you so well
You failed no one