Fast one or not

Good morning morning time.
Tip tap them out into my palm as the jug whistles
and the kids caw for their breakfast
lunchboxes are packed and clouds of vapor are directed out the open door
I swallow three, then four and five and blithely blend a smoothie
Smoothing ointment on her neck
Where tiny fingers scratch
Repeating loudly “Your clothes are on the table”
as toast is hoovered up by hungry mouths or spat out
On the floor I washed last night,
because the ratio of bread to avocado wasn’t right,
when the meds weren’t quite enough
to stop me compulsively staring for signs of life
“Your clothes are on the table.
Your clothes are on the table.”

Eventually we make it out to bird song and a little drizzle from a clear sky
Start the exploratory mission we make the same way
Every day to school. The meds make opening the gate a nothing.
 Strength is the distance between me and feeling
it’s when something makes it past…
frightening to remember how far there is to fall,
or that at my core there may be nothing. If i'm alone.

Cocooned 

Reviews

[Gerald Parker]

Excellent depiction of a chaotic scene getting kids ready for school. All helped by the meds. Enjoyed "we make it out to bird song" and especially "The meds make opening the gate a nothing.' The last three lines are problematic, for me at least. Is "Strength is the distance between me and feeling
it’s when something makes it past' all one phrase or should there be a comma after "feeling"? Is "Cocooned " part of "If i'm alone"? What does "If i'm alone cocooned' mean? Is it a reference to the effect of the meds?