A way forward.

Petty like the sound devices of a hopeless poem. I opened my heart to wonder and love not realising that disappointment was stealthily walking right behind me. This is what the year has done to me. This is what you have done to me.

I've come to the conclusion that I am angry. I chose to be angry. I want to hate 'till my blood boils, 'till my looks kill. I want to scream out of frustration and not hold my tounge because I was raised to respect.

More than anything, I want to insult you because you broke me to the point where the shattered pieces of my glass become icognito with the ground. Yet, I'm terrified of the response. My age rectifies my behaviour with the saying, "I'm young, I don't understand." Still, I am no fool.

I wish I had control over the matter but I've lost and you've won. It was never a game but I feel the pain of what should have been mine, victory.

My thoughts were suppressed and in due time, I will pour my acidic feelings into your neutral wounds . I will get my revenge, I would have said a million years ago but now I tell you, I will speak so that the words can heal me.

I refuse to be a victim of your lies and selfishness. The bitterness that now surrounds our home and the bleakness that covers it will not be my way forward. I'm escaping these walls, I'm setting myself free and I wish you farewell.

I want you to know that I have forgiven your character. I realise that I have defined you by your one mistake and therefore, forgive me. Change please dear man , change your ways and that is my only prayer.

Don't add to the cliche of badness. Be the good and I'll be the renewal. Let's shake hands and show peace. My heart was once heavy with hatred but know I see light brighter than stars, brighter than galaxies.

I've stopped foreshadowing the hope in my story, I chase it not knowing what it looks like but I have clear feeling.

Reviews

[Laura Kate]

This is a transformative story. The hatred and the heartbreak and disappointment is so strong at the beginning. Then the hatred not only to the person who did this to you, but to the inner turmoil within yourself.

To reach a light at the end 'brighter than galaxies' is just formidable. To acknowledge that your judgement of another may not be fair despite the way this consumed the home you once shared is extremely powerful and shows great strength of character. I can feel the hurt you experienced and I can sense your renewal. This is very well written I'm a big fan.

[nessamokobocho]

Thank you! writing it alone was difficult. I had hoped that people in the same situation may also see light brighter than galaxies.

[Laura Kate]

This was very brave Vanessa, and I hope it helps with the healing and forgiving process. This will be very helpful for people who can relate, keep writing!

[emmajoy]

' Be the good and I'll be the renewal. Let's shake hands and show peace. My heart was once heavy with hatred but know I see light brighter than stars, brighter than galaxies. '

Forgiveness in spite of heartache, is a gift to both the recipient and giver. Your words start with hurt and controlled but obvious anger, then.. gradually, as if you're truly understanding your own pain, you come to adapt those negatives into a calm turning away to peace for both of you. That takes so much self.worth and character. Beautifully created and a moral many should absorn, Vanessa.

[nessamokobocho]

Thank you.I think that is the challenge many people face, understanding their pain. I was imagining a world where confrontation doesn't scare people or the truth.

[emmajoy]

It is, I agree. Will come back and read more of your writing as soon as can. Smile, be happy.