Are you dreaming?

O angel of dreams,

Where have you been?

Clipping your wings and remaining unseen.

 

The world's falling down;

You float on the ground,

Searching for something you've already found.

 

You scatter your thoughts,

Trying to find

The meaning of something that you left behind.

 

Where have you been?

It is snowing

Fragments of dreams that have not been growing.

 

You've lost all your friends;

There's no one to care.

Why don't you laugh now, for life is unfair?

 

Time's slowing down;

You sprawl on the ground

Hoping for someone when no one's around.

 

Why don't you sing?

Why don't you play?

Why do you bleed all your troubles away?

 

Where has he gone?

Why don't you smile?

Why don't you open your eyes for a while?

 

You're cold, and asleep,

Lying in dreams.

They gush from your heart as incessant streams.

 

O angel of dreams,

Are you dreaming of pain?

Why don't you breathe? We'll start over again. 

Reviews

[Alana]

I find the phrase “Clipping your wings” very interesting. In clipping the wings of a bird, one is restricting it from flight. Is it the same for the angel? If so, why is the angel clipping it’s own wings, what caused the desire to hinder his or her ability to fly?
The next few stanzas give a bit more insight onto the character of this mutilated angel. I feel almost as if the angel has stripped itself of it’s own wings, and is punishing his or her self by being placed in the life of a mortal. In a metaphorical or literal sense, this is quite powerful, but also quite heart-wrenching.
The choice of snow brings to mind coldness and death. The barren landscape of the winter, a perfect driving point for the sadness of the angel.
Granted, I felt the line “It is snowing” kind of broke the rhythm. I have no idea why, but it picks right back up again, so, no worries :)

“Why don't you sing?
Why don't you play?
Why do you bleed all your troubles away?”
… that, that stanza is STUNNING. The questioning seems almost child-like at first, innocent. Then the final line kicks in, a sudden jump to harshness and maturity.

“Where has he gone?” This is perhaps the only clue in the entire poem as to what caused the angel so much pain. Is it a religious reference? Granted, those are usually punctuated with a capital ‘h’ on he, but that can be altered for the purpose of discretion. The only reason I thought of that as a possibility was because this entire poem is addressed to an ‘angel’. While it’s most likely metaphorical, I found it interesting. Has this angel perhaps lost their way?
Or is it someone else? The mysterious ‘he’. A feeling of abandonment is present nonetheless.
“Lying in dreams” also caught my attention. One can lie down in dreams, and one can lie in dreams. Like a sense of false hopes and ambitions.
The last line seems like the true heartbreaker to me. As if the angel could just say the word, and all could begin anew. Yet, there’s currently too much pain to see things clearly, and so a new start cannot begin.
There’s a smidgen of hope in the last line though, there is always the possibility of starting again.
I think I read too much into things ;P

[Awdures]

Flows wonderfully and portrays a sadness beyond recompense. I enjoyed the tertiary form you used here, gave a sense of urgency at the beginning and then a simple letting go at the end. Gives the whole piece a feeling of innocence.

As usual very enjoyable.

[the_stoic]

the words just flowed ... the beginning wasn't that powerful but towards the end it really picked up .. "why don't you breathe? " the pain is just so stark .. this one goes into my library !

[Jasmine]

i really like the last three verses especially...the meaning is great, and the structure, but it did, in truth, take me a while to get into it. But that's probably just me; it's been a long day ;)
all in all a good poem.

[Crowley]

You are very good at using the rhyme so that it doesn't cause issues with the flow. This is a beautiful poem, reminded me of watching a sad short animated piece that they play on HBO, it kind of flashed through my mind like that...don't know why. Nice work my friend.

[Ruth]

I like the structure to this and feel the middle adds a little cobtrast!
Ecellent poem, where are the angels whilst the world declines in chaos? Who knows!
Great work
xx

[Brianna Brie]

In my opinion, the middle may not be as cleverly poetic, but it is very needful. It was the middle verses that stuck a knife in my heart. The words that stirred emotion in which I could identify. Well written!!

[Dinesh Sairam]

It's like the poem was awesome at the beginning, fell in the middle and was perfect in the end. lol, you get what I say. Edit the middle stanzas a bit. Otherwise, it's another treat from you. Especially loved the second and last stanzas, such simple words to build one awesome poem. Keep writing.