Smile

We step with twist tied fingers, 

Off key, bumping bodies and running over 

The other’s words. 

Sweetness balances between my lips.

I’m sucking each bit of sugar

And trying to see everything with your eyes, 

But you're too far above, your perspective 

Is beyond mine,

And I can’t keep up. 

I want to be you,

But all I can do is enjoy the whiff of it,

The transient taste of cinnamon and sweat.

The feel of unclipped nails and a calloused thumb pressing

On my soft palm. 

You are soaking in the joys I’m blind to,

the tangled chaos of people and things

Mixing and mingling with stretches of grass and trees, of sunlight 

Splashing on your face and a bite of wind making

You fix your hair. 

I want to fix that disheveled hair.

Wake up with it, 

Wash it,

See it in a foggy mirror,

And breathe in that cinnamon smell

On my own flesh. 

I want to f**k myself with the essence of another guiding my hand. 

I want to feel what you feel when you gasp and groan.

I’m a voyeur, I’m a vampire,

Parading as an interested girl, holding your hand.

Licking a lollipop like I’m sweet and full of love.

Contributing to conversation,

Like I give a damn about where I’m at.

I want to always have the look on my face

We have right now, grinning like we mean it.