The Strength of my Will

A man contemplating the meaning of life comes to stunning realizations about happiness, resolve, and bravery.

I drummed my fingers on the windowsill as I watched time passing by,

Contemplating that all-encompassing essence we call life, what does it mean to be alive?

Fingers stilled on the windowsill, suddenly a flitting notion striking.

What if we are but grains of sand in the hourglass of life, awaiting our turn to plunge and be laid to rest… out of sight, out of mind.

Death comes for all, even those who do not wish it, this actuality is evanescent.

 

Drumming filled the room as I moved my fingers once more, muttering to myself

“It makes no sense this accursed, horrid existence!”

Time passes, pure moments fleeting, happiness always just beyond reach

If only, if only… the excuses we use for own unhappiness.

Unwilling to take responsibility for actions their own,

Unwilling to grasp the reins of chaos and fight...

 

Stillness pervaded the room then, my attention held, transfixed on an obsession.

The ever burning, gnawing questions pulled from the depths of my consciousness and held at the forefront of my mind,

               Who am I? Tenuous or tenacious?

Is my will scorching enough to grant me the strength to grasp the reins of chaos and be hailed victorious?

Or does my will flicker burning low, slow, steady casting shadows of doubt across the walls rendered incapable of blazing devastatingly searing in the face of chaos?

 

I take stock of myself and my life and deciding then that it matters not.

For in that moment it was known,

Victory or defeat, it is for naught.

The truly remarkable deed is standing with the strength of your frame and declaring through the strength of your will, “I shall fight you regardless of the odds!”

Bravery, resolve, a will that burns with the intensity of a thousand suns.

 

A small gasp escaped into the room, disturbing the sounds of ever increasing drumming,

The meaning of life, within breadths reach!

Flashes, visions, friends, family

All passed behind my eyes.

Momentarily I knew what must be done, reins must be grasped punishingly and heels must be grounded, unyielding.

Happiness is to be fought for, created only by its holder.

 

A heat in my belly stirred me from my contemplations,

“My will is burning”, so I thought.

I drummed my once still fingers on the windowsill, watching as time slipped by,

Waiting for the next to take root in my mind...

Author's Note

Okay this is the first piece I've written in long time please excuse if it's technically the worst written short story ever, but please do give me reviews! I love constructive criticism, it makes you a better writer. I really wanna hear what you guys think of it so leave me some reviews guys!