You're not in my bed

You're not in my bed

A Poem by A. Hood


anymore.

But you’re there when I sleep.

 

Last night, I ran around incessantly

and tore the propaganda down

which you left hanging from my

left and right ventricles.

 

Your campaign must be over. The speech

that you delivered in my aorta was still bouncing

around throughout

the hollows of my right atrium.

I tried sliding you through every vessel

hoping eventually

you would wane in the acids

of my stomach.  But for some reason 60 seconds and 72 beats

later you’re right back here again.

 

I would tell you all about this nightmare

but we’re just really great friends now.

 

And since we’re just really great friends

now, I don’t get a call back from you anymore.

Your other really great friends must think

you're a terrific person.

© 2016 A. Hood


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The emotion is definitely there, it's a powerful poem, but I feel like it could be better crafted. I feel like one stanza before the two lines "I would tell you all about this nightmare/but we’re just really great friends now" and one stanza afterwards would make it more complete. This is emotional, and I am compelled to care about the narrator, whether it's you or someone else, but I want to know precisely why this breakup/separation/whatever is so painful.

Posted 6 Years Ago


I think you have out a lot of emotion into this
some lines I really liked-tore the propaganda down
and the 60 seconds and 72 beats great usage of my mind words truly
love your ending let it all out kind of write
thank you for sharing

Posted 6 Years Ago



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Added on March 28, 2013
Last Updated on November 30, 2016